busy

I know I'm busy when I don't make time to blog...well, maybe. ;)

Check this out. . .The Hobbit, 2010, and 2011.

hahahahah

I "found" an extra $300. Amazing! Just the other day I thought, "how is the money going to turn up this time?" And well, here it is. It doesn't ever just drop out of the sky. But kinda. It is a blessing.

I will find out Saturday night if I need everyone to start looking for a job for me. I'm guessing the answer is yes though.

Miss you all. Cya soon. . .except Matt. . . . . . .rats! I miss you man. But its all worth it. :)

Merry Christmas to all!

favour and grace

Genesis 39:4, 21.

Joseph found grace in their sight. He found favour.

I never really thought about this in any present day situation. But I've been in jobs (my current one included) where I can only say that I found grace in their sight, or favour. God is good.

No matter what. You guys know we are going through stuff, but God is good. We appreciate your prayers though. Keep praying. Saturday might be hard again.

blog already

Why isn't anyone blogging?

Well, Mike is working third shift and going to school. And trying to stay awake and texting a lot.

Joe is without internet, moving to VA, and busy with the new life of an airplane mechanic.

Matt is waking up early, traveling an hour to school, teaching school, then staying late for basketball practice, and then traveling and hour home. At which point he tries to see his wife and sleep.

Jenn. . .really doesn't have much excuse. She is online plenty and she's coming to MBBC. So, why she doesn't blog more, IDK.

Me? Meh, I go to school, and work once and a while. I spend my evenings online, answering questions, or e-mailing, or job searching, or blogging, or doing greek at my desk, or other homework.

So, yeah, (aside from Jenn) I understand why people aren't blogging. It makes sense. I'd still like to see it though. I like to hear the wit/thoughts/lives of everyone else. Even if you can't blog, you could at least comment on other people's blogs.

We got through my module this week. It was good. I got stuff I need to get accomplished on Monday. I need to get myself a planner that I make sure to check every morning. And keep with me throughout the day.

It is supposed to snow/rain/sleet Saturday night. I hope it doesn't. But, my hoping doesn't usually accomplish much when it comes to the weather.

I need to go again. hope you all are well. Only a few more weeks.

Praise the Lord

Over the last two weeks through a few different means, I have gotten an extra $1,000. God's goodness is amazing.

We are supposed to get snow and then sleet Saturday afternoon and into the evening. I usually go somewhere Saturday evening till late into the night. Maybe I'll bring clothes to change into and sleep in my car if it gets really bad. We'll see. Of course, I would like to be able to just sleep in the basement but how dare I suggest such a thing.

I need to go get some work done. I'll be home in under 4 weeks. I'm so excited.

praise

So, when you hear someone say "Praise the Lord!" what comes to mind? The 100's of times you have heard your unsaved co-workers take the Lord's name in vain in exactly that manner? What do you do when Christians say it? I heard someone say it the other day. I was completely shocked. The person knew exactly what he meant, but I was unsure if he meant it as he said it or had to think about it later. But at the same time, I just had a confusing situation I wasn't sure about with my credit card be taken care of the way it shoulda been and it wasn't me. The proper response had to be "Praise the Lord." or "Thank God." Which, when I was telling my roommate is what I said.

But think about it. How often do we as Christians shy away from correctly praising the Lord because the unsaved have taken that praise and perverted it? Maybe its just me. I've heard so many people say it about the dumbest things it has driven me crazy. I half-jumped on the Christian I heard say it the other day. Because, in MY mind, that was not something worth being thankful for. How foolish of me!!! Everything is worth being thankful for.

So, I think it comes down to attitude again. Just like prayer. People praying in church; is it vain repetition? or is it true prayer? Depends on their heart for them and yours for you.I can say the same words every week if I truly mean them and am praying them. Or I can change it and speak wonderfully and mean nothing by it. So, if the snow falls and you say "Thank God!" Mean it, and praise him for the snow. If you have been praying about your money situation and God provides in ways you didn't expect, "Praise the Lord!" and mean it. He deserves it. But don't say things you don't mean, ever.

That's just free info anyway. Don't say things you don't mean.

I'm engaged. I'm so happy. I gtg. peace. (That's anther one. It is "ok" to wish peace to friends and family. True peace comes from God, and that is what is meant. Same as saying "have a good day." If I mean it I should say it.) Peace be to you.

W00T!!

I'm engaged!! =D

Flow chart

Too bad how often that fits. . .good thing is, I don't have time to follow this very much anymore.

Oh, and I got their blessing. Took 2 hours of talking (er listening on our part) but we got it. Yay!! I'll call you all sometime. Hope you had a good thanksgiving and have a nice weekend.

happy thanksgiving

As I get ready to go to work in 15 minutes, I just want to say, happy thanksgiving to all those I won't see during this weekend. (Which is most of you.)

I am thankful for good friends and close family. That's all you guys. Thanks.

I won't be working anymore this week after I get out of McD tomorrow morning, and school is closed, so I won't be blogging. Hope you all enjoy your festivities. Remember, only 4 1/2 more weeks till Christmas. I can't wait to be home. =D 10:43pm.

So, here I am

So, I'm out of money. Plain and simple. Gone.

$500 into my car since coming out here. And the guy tells me my rear brakes will cost me another. . .$240+ labor. yay. $300 more bucks . . . my dad says that for every $500 into a car it should last another year. If I can be done after putting this $800 into it for a solid year without much more than normal upkeep I'll be happy.

It always seems like when things seem to be going well spiritually, that things stop going well temporally. I mean, I've been trying harder lately.

I'm often being impressed upon (by my gf) to just stop worrying and trust the Lord. And so I was thinking about that. I didn't really think I was worrying. I was calculating. I can't find any possible ways for the funds to show up. And then it kinda hit me. . .isn't that what it means to trust the Lord? If I can see where the money is going to come from then I don't need to trust really, because I can see it.

Now I'm sitting here with no idea where I'm going to get the money for Christmas presents, a trip home, fixing my car, a wedding, etc. I am still looking for a better job if it should show up and I'm trying to be content with the job I have.

I don't like asking for money. Its hard for me to take other people's money. Why? When you watch old TV shows, the problem is always someone is too proud to take the money. I don't quite see that its pride. . .I mean, maybe it is, and as much as I try not to take it, I also try to be grateful when its given.

Topic change.

"For the brightest students, academics can become a kind of game. For average students, it is very serious business."

I got a newsletter thing from someone recently and the above quote was written.

I understand that the ability I have comes from God. It isn't anything in me that makes it easier for me to do Greek, or type out a paper in a day and a half. But this gift has bred laziness in me. I have taken advantage of it, and thus not put myself fully to my tasks.

I find there is sooo much that needs work in my life. And if I try to work on everything I can feel overwhelmed. At the same time, I don't know how to not work on everything because there is no excuse to say, "I'm not going to work on that sin, and I'll work on this one." But, wow. . .I guess its just another thing that says "You can't do it. Go to God." Because, I can work on one thing at a time. But I just get exhausted.

Topic Change.

I've been looking for a job. I was on the MI state website the other day. I need to take the civil service exam. That is the start I need. Then I can start applying and stuff.

But, Kaylynn hates the cold. It gets into the 40s and she freezes. I don't know how she has survived in WI for the last 20 years. She doesn't like it. I don't particularly like the cold either. I don't like it as warm as she does, but there is a medium between tropical island 83 all the time, and MI/WI freezing winters. Of course, if we lived in MI we could keep the house warm.

Where do I want to live? Well, MI is still my preferred place, if I could find work. And good work. If I could work for the state it would be fine. Good benefits/pay, etc. Of course, whenever something happens to state budgets someone gets cut. Both my uncle and my dad hear about it.

A tropical island would be cool to live on too. But I think my reasons for wanting to live there aren't the best. The warm/nice weather. The ability to say "I lived on a tropical island." My future wife would probably be warm.

Ok, I think I need to take a civil service exam of some kind...but, I really have no clue. There are half a dozen different exams on the MI.gov site and none seem for the IT job I'm looking at. Entrance level of course.

What can I do with my degree, but teach? Right? What does a Bible degree do for me? My computer degree doesn't do much since I don't really like programming.

It isn't likely I can get a good job without having a degree in something, and everything my degrees are in I can't get a good job. I look at some stuff and see, MA, or MB, or PhD. A year ago I was thinking I would get my PhD so I could say I had it. Now I'm thinking I should get something to use it. Bleh! What a waste was CMU! I should have gotten a degree in business.

I sound pretty gloomy. I think my desperateness is good though.

My roommate isn't online so, I can't chat with him like I would normally be doing right now. bleh!

Big pre-school thanksgiving thing in the little gym tonight. Caused us to close the gym, weight room, and aerobics stuff. College students weren't terribly happy, but I liked it. ;)

I'm thirsty.

I need to use my money wisely.

If I want more money I better use my few pounds I have now wisely. Oh great. . .I might have to take down the chairs from the kids thing. . .I caught the dinosaur. Or did I not catch the dinosaur?

I need to get some reading done so I'm gonna log for now. Hope all is well with you. 8:53.

Maxims

Despise not the discourse of the wise, but acquaint thyself with their proverbs.


Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.

Wisdom in the man, patience in the wife, bring peace to the
 house, and a happy life. 

A fool must now and then be right --- by chance.

He who has a good wife can bear any evil. 

A fool in his own house will not be wise in mine.

Use your wit as a buckler, not as a sword.

White ants pick a carcass clean sooner than a lion will.

The wise man has long ears, big eyes and a short tongue.

Wit without discretion is a sword in the hand of a fool.

They who make the best use of their time have none to spare.

To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.

You must judge a maiden at the kneading trough, and not in a
 dance.

Step by step one goes far.

Hasty judgments are generally faulty ones.

Talking comes by nature, silence by wisdom.

What ardently we wish we soon believe.

Let no man value at little price a virtuous woman's counsel.

Wit ill applied is a dangerous weapon.

More have repented of speech than silence.

A foolish man diligently advertises his own folly.

Books give not wisdom where was none before.


And what started it all:


It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

My girl

She is worth it all.

I have been going through a lot of ____ lately. Most of you hear about it here and over the phone. You guys have been encouraging, supportive, and thought provoking, and I appreciate it.

At no point do I want anyone to think I wouldn't have done this if I had known the trouble, or that I regret any of it. I don't. She is worth every bit. (no, none of you have implied such, I just want to make it clear.)

She is amazing. I can't begin to describe it. I prayed and this is who God gave me, and I am still in awe. So, yeah, there is a lot of stuff happening that is bad. It is annoying, aggravating, irritating, irrational, hypocritical, and often unscriptural. But she is 100% worth it, and I'm grateful for her.

politics

Now, I don't know much about politics. I don't claim to. But anyone who watched The West Wing would know some obvious things. Things that you could get without watching it if you just thought about it. . .like not having your veto overturned. Seriously.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/11/08/congress.water/?iref=mpstoryview

So, if the president makes the mistake of vetoing something that has that much support. . .I mean it wasn't even a close vote. They flat rejected the veto. So, I guess we shouldn't be expecting Bush to get much done. . .like we were anyway?

He has 1 year left. . .1 year. When I think about Gore or Kerry being in charge, I can be happy about what has been accomplished concerning the war, etc. But on the homefront. . .nvm.

So, I used to dislike the news. . .I still do largely, but I think I dislike "TV news" and not the actual news. I get news headlines from CNN, Fox, Drudge, NY Times, Reuters, LA Times, etc. Yes, still about half the time the article is pointless, but among all of those I can usually find "real" news. And that I think it is important to try to keep up on.

Yellowstone is again filling with molten rock. There is no guesstimate of how long that happens before it subsides or erupts. So if you're planning on seeing Yellowstone, do it quickly and hope it doesn't erupt while you're there.

California is suing the US regarding emission standards from cars, etc. I'm pretty sure the correct term is suing although they aren't doing so for money. Just to get permission on something that has been rejected. Suing gives it a more publicity I think though.

My gf brought me dinner. . .she's the best.

I need to go do homework. ttyl.

correction

My dad's grades did NOT drop. It was just a couple of quiz scores. Just thought I'd clear that up.

Aristotle once said:Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.

So, basically I can be dignified. heh. Its kinda funny that I should find that quote today, while I am considering my B's. But alas, I must move on to other things.

I'm preaching tomorrow. Pray for me please.

Hosea 10:12.

Sow to yourselves in Righteousness.
Reap in mercy.
Break up your fallow ground.
Time to seek the Lord.
Till He come and rain righteousness on you.

I am feeling good because I'm feeling so unable. I am nervous and haven't done this in a while, and its a scary thing handling the Word of God. This is all driving me to pray more about it and I'm grateful for that. But now I need to go. ttyl. 5:22

remember remember the 5th of Nov

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

The rest goes like this:

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent

To blow up King and Parli'ment.

Three-score barrels of powder below

To prove old England's overthrow;

By God's providence he was catch'd

With a dark lantern and burning match.

Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.

Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

And then long time ago, there traditionally was another verse:

A penny loaf to feed the Pope

A farthing o' cheese to choke him.

A pint of beer to rinse it down.

A faggot of sticks to burn him.

Burn him in a tub of tar.

Burn him like a blazing star.

Burn his body from his head.

Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.

Hip hip hoorah!

Hip hip hoorah hoorah!

Anyway, perhaps its time to remember the 5th of November and blow up Old Main, er I mean. . .nvm. ;)

Guy Fawkes and other Catholic conspirators if you didn't know attempted to blow up the houses of parliament on Nov 5th, 1605.

Things to blog about. . . . . . . . . . . . .I'm busy getting ready to preach on Wed. Maybe tomorrow night if I have time I'll run through a brief outline of my sermon. Pray for me. It has been a LONG time since I've preached and I'm also swamped. But I shall persevere. Right?

Gtg get a drink and work some more on my message. ttyl. peace be to you. 7:34.

me again

So, I met with Mr. O this morning over breakfast. It was interesting. I will try to be as kind and honest as I can.

First question resulted in me saying we were planning on getting married this summer. This was the biggest thing we didn't think they were aware of. It didn't appear to surprise him too much. (oh yeah, I thought I was meeting both of them, but only Mr. O showed up.)

His two biggest concerns were: my debt, and her schooling. Both of which I completely (as completely as I can) understand.

Note: He said whatever you decide "we will support you." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .I messed up. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even want to blog anymore. . .I'm just mad at myself. Anyway. . .

We talked for about 2 hours, and he wants the four of us to meet with pastor and wants us to pray about waiting an extra year. Well. . .he just wants us to wait an extra year, and I said that we would honestly pray about it and if we felt we were supposed to we would, and if not we would let them know that too.

As such, he wanted to wait before he officially gave his blessing until we had prayed about it. Praying about it is good. . .waiting is hard. But, as a dad is giving away his daughter. Spending a week in prayer should be something I should be willing to give. . .shouldn't I? He didn't really ask for it. It is kinda just what I said he could have.

Now, as for her schooling. We are forgetting largely the many many many verses that speak of God being the friend, helper, and husband of the fatherless and widows. I'm not even married and I'm already finding great comfort in these verses. I know my grandma rejoices in them and finds encouragement there. But, if the Lord tarries and blesses such, as a father and husband, what more comforting thought can there be that if God takes me out of the picture, He will also care for those for whom I was responsible? Now, obviously I'm not discounting life insurance, and savings etc etc. But that seems to me a huge blessing that previously I was unable to understand as such.

As to my debt. $5k. Yes. . .that is some debt. How many people do I know with WAAAAAY more than that? Now, I don't like debt. I don't. I plan on paying it off. It is something to work towards. But in the grand scheme, when I owe way more than $5k on a house. . . . . .seriously.

I know people who buy the new cars, boats, etc. I can be confident because I know me. They don't know me, so me trying to assure them of my dislike of debt and yet my comfortableness with getting married with $5k is somewhat difficult.

But, neither of those two reasons are reasons worth postponing. They are something worth seriously considering. And we have, and continue to do so. But that is all.

Now, neither are we in a huge hurry. There are reasons we are in a "hurry." We don't get treated very well, or rather as adults. And some of that may carry on for the rest of our lives, unfortunately. But that is why we would want to move away sooner. If, however Kaylynn DID want to finish school. Our biggest concern I think is being here. We both can't stand it. If they change so much that we can enjoy being here, rather than fear/dread it then I honestly can't see a huge difficulty in waiting. . .if we could do what we want. And that's the key. We won't be able to.

He already told me that the rules will change when we are engaged. He opened them up so that there are very very few. But some things. . .that I woulda wanted changed anyway, aren't changing till she moves. And he made that clear. Like midnight curfew. ahem. Seriously.

Now I talked to someone and they said "Curfews are good." I don't get why. Curfew your teenager because you think they need more sleep then they are getting, fine. Don't curfew an adult. You have a house rule that the house locks at midnight, then really why did you give keys to people? And is it worth telling her she needs to be home by midnight or move out?

I don't understand curfews, IF there is trust. Why have a curfew? Do you trust your daughter? Do you trust your son? So, a group of friends goes out to the college function and then to pizza hut. No, that is wrong!! Isn't the whole point of the curfew to say, "I don't trust you?" There has to be something I'm missing.

Responsibility. It teaches responsibility. Really? Are you sure? Ok, they need to be home. I'm glad that they missed the last 20 minutes of the movie to make it home by the randomly set time in the house. "Start the movie earlier." Yeah yeah yeah. Normally, that's just what happens. They sit around until 10:35 to start the movie that is just a little over an hour and a half. Purposefully too. Or maybe, they know how tired they are, how it affects them, etc etc etc. I'm just saying that once a person is an adult. . .I can't find a good reason for a curfew. I will have them for my kids, but once they get to be an adult. . .I better be able to trust them because a curfew is pointless by that time, and drives a wedge between us.


So, where are we? Well, we talk some more. Next time we talk, whether its tomorrow, or next week or with pastor I state very plainly that I expect an answer today. We do not need to set a wedding date in order to get the blessing. We might need to pray about waiting for a couple weeks, or a month. Idk, but the point is that he said "It isn't a matter of 'if,' but 'when'." And they know we are getting married and that we are right for each other and they are determined to be supportive either way, so that sounds like a blessing, right? without actually having to say yes. So, next time, I will go through everything and then make sure we get a yes.

One of the pastors I talked to said I needed to do that this time. Just make sure I get a solid answer. I had too many paths I was chasing, and I coulda argued the above paragraph today had I considered it, but it didn't cross my mind. Ah well.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, I'm glad I'm not asking her to move out against her parents wishes. Although next semester she may be moving out and that will be against their wishes. . .I think. He was adamant that if there weren't guys that decided they liked his other daughters he expected them to remain at home. . . .indefinitely. . . . . .that won't happen, and its sad. But they are driving them away. (good pronoun use there, huh? ;))

Next time we talk I think I need to remember to bring up some other things too.

Christmas. She is coming home with me for over a week. YAY!! =D =D =D

During that time she will be getting a phone on my plan.

Spring break we plan on spending in MI as well.

Kaylynn had previously said she didn't think they could help with the wedding. He said they would help a little. Don't know how much, but we would appreciate any help and that was nice. (as long as it doesn't have strings attached. I hate to think that way, but . . .)

I don't want to work in the computer field. . .I don't know what I'm supposed to do though.

Of course, everyone wants to know what I plan on doing, and what can you do with your degree. I can do some stuff, but its incredibly difficult.

I was told the other day that a Christian school job is not a very good income. I think I would know that. heh.

One of the pastors I talked to told me that if there was anyone in all of history who fell into the Rev. 22 curse it would be Bruce Metzger. That is without a doubt true. He sat on so many councils "shaping" the Scriptures. It would scare me to give one iota of input, and he sits there hacking away at entire verses/chapters/books. And the funny thing today is that he is viewed as a great scholar in the field of textual studies, and exalted in our fundamental baptist schools. Think about it.

Then try telling a group of students that he is in Hell, when their NTI prof says he was a genius and a great "godly" man. Who determines Godliness these days? I guess I'm out of the loop. Tischendorf supposedly a great godly man. I don't think I heard anyone go that far with W&H, but maybe. . .it would be in my notes.

Kurt Aland would be another. Sitting on the council for the UBS 3 and 4, and the NA 26-27, and even before. I think he goes back to the Nestle 13 or 14. What type of man would dare? One who exalted himself above the Word of God?

Which is partly why we get all these wishy washy messages on who the Rev 22 curse really applies to. I mean, anyone who stands and says something that isn't right. Well, that doesn't really apply here. It isn't good, but you can't condemn someone to Hell forever for that. You can for tampering with the transcendent holy Word of God. Well, not you personally, but the text does.

My argument has changed over time. I have I think, maintained the same points with some adjustments, but my order of presentation has changed often. I started with the character of God, then came the church/Word/Spirit relationship, I recently began with certainty, now, I am where I probably should have started: exegesis. You see, the CT side does not have any exegetical support. Indeed, they claim the Bible doesn't speak to the issue. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sorry, think about it though. Fundamental Bible Believing Baptists who say that the Bible speaks to each and every matter of faith and practice says the Bible doesn't speak as to its own preservation. Again, I say, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

So, if I begin with exegesis, which is not always the first instinct and it should be (for all matters of faith and practice. . .exegesis of Scripture should always be first.) then I have the "I win" button. If the Scripture speaks to these things then the CT side must acknowledge them. And they try to skirmish out of it. This is why its a matter of faith for us. We believe by the testimony of the Word and the inward working of the Holy Spirit that we have in our possession the very Word of God. Amen.

Sometimes its easy to see how Paul could break into doxology in the middle of an epistle and certainly at the end. Reread the statement above. . .yeah, we all know it, but that is truly amazing.

Last night I spent about an hour and a half talking to my roommate about relationships and then prayer and God's goodness. I don't often talk to him, but when we do have a real conversation we talk about serious stuff. It was a good talk. I think I gave some good advice and I went away encouraged and reminded of some things I needed.

But you know, I prayed and prayed. And there were things, even praying for the perfect girl, that I wasn't praying for and that I wouldn't have preferred but I would have put up with. The way God matched me with Kaylynn is bewildering. We are sooo perfect for each other. . .I can't even express it. It was one of those things that is just an encouragement because God knew me better than I knew myself. That can be scary, but what an encouragement.

My dad's grades dropped when he dated my mom. Part of me didn't really get it. I get it now. I'm fighting and it will be a struggle to maintain an A in one of my classes. It isn't that the work is hard. It is just harder to find time. And school isn't a priority. I like getting A's. But I like knowing that I coulda got the A almost as much. So me getting a B on a paper because it was a week late and drops a grade is one of those things that I smirk about and am content with. Anyway, I'm still going for the 3.75 but if it stays at 3.65 I won't complain. I didn't come in here with strict expectations, so meh.

Btw, in under 1 years time I will have my M.A. =D =D =D =D :D =) :) =) :D

A year and a half ago I was single, unemployed, out of school, and living at home. I was a guild master though. heh ;)

Now I almost have a wife and a MA. Good progress in a year and a half imo. Great blessings.

I think I overuse commas. I find that I like to insert them a lot. I was thinking too the other day that I need to brush up on my English rules. I'm learning a lot of Greek syntax and I don't even know a lot of English. I barely remember learning Cases. I remember going over it, but what I learned I don't know. I just know what sounds right and certain things. My English isn't bad, generally. I edit my own papers and thanks to my parents I think I do a pretty good job on it. There are just things I think I should know, and should brush up on. . .Just need to find the right English book. I don't want to read it through just be able to look things up when I forget. I need to stay on top of it. I enjoy English. My parents would be so proud.

I think I could teach high school. I was thinking about it. Be a principal, idk. I'm sure I could, but I would need to talk to my dad about how to do it. But I think I can teach high school math, english, computer apps, bible, phsycis. . .maybe chemistry, and history. Actually, let me re-phrase that: I know enough or can re-learn it and enjoy it enough, but I don't know if I've ever tried teaching much, and I think I could teach kids. But. . .what a big responsibility. Oi Vey. (I think that's what my sister would say there. . .but I don't know what it means so, if its swearing blame her. :P )

hmmmmm, I found something interesting while I was paying bills and such and it could be a pleasant surprise or just another petty annoyance. I'm hoping its the former.

I found my old guilds website. Just thought about it for some reason and stopped by. Recognize some of the main posters but that's about it. meh, Just stopped by to brag to em about me girl.

I'm gonna go. Hopefully my girl will be here soon. peace. 2:14.

lots of stuff

I first need to be thankful.

Some people are just nice. Every now and then you see them, or run into them. For no reason other than that they are nice do they go out of their way to be generous. I think I used to be like this. But I can barely remember it. That's too bad. I'm not even sure people can attest the fact and so, its really too bad. I need to work on it again. I'm trying.

But on to what I'm thankful for. My roommate was reading my blogs and as I just barely mentioned the fact that I don't have any cheese, jelly, or chocolate chips, he mentioned something to his brother. When I opened the fridge that night, I had all three on my shelf. You know, it made my evening. Sometimes the little things are big. I got so much stuff on my mind, and going and trying to find some food I would enjoy was not one of them. Having a brick of cheese (which I ate in two days) was great. So, thanks Marc.

Second, thanks to all who prayed about last Saturday. It went better than expected, but not good either. But I had prayed and prayed and prayed that it would not go horrible and it didn't, and we praise God for it.

Things are moving and I'm meeting with her parents on Saturday morning to further discuss their blessing on our marriage. I was kinda worried last night. Today I'm more anticipating it. I talked to three pastors for about 2 hours time. Got a lot of advice and counsel. "In the multitude of counsellors there is safety." "In the multitude of counsellors they [purposes] are established." I have talked to lots of people.

It was really, really nice to talk to my uncle Pete today. I haven't talked to him really since the 4th, and we talked for an hour. About half the time on my situation, but the other half on the Bible issue.

I also found out that Joe got the job in VA. (which no1 back home has told me. . .???)

And that Pete's adviser for his ThM thesis wants him to shorten it and dumb it down because he doesn't understand the words Pete is using.

I'm grateful for my family. I have thought about it, and I could call almost anyone and talk to them. It is a happy thought to know that there are good Christian people willing and happy to give advice and listen to your problems. And the fact that it spans multiple generations is great.

I grabbed a dozen roses today and dropped them off for Kaylynn while she worked. Why, you ask? I love her.

I have been searching again for a place around here that offers an IQ test. Not a lot, but just a couple online searches. I would like to try again to get into Mensa, but more than that, I would just like to know how far I'm off. I took the one test, but they never give you a score, just a yes or no. That was disappointing. Of course, I don't have the time right now, nor have I taken enough varieties of IQ tests to be ready. I would study and push myself this time. But oh well.

I was complemented on my choice of clothes today. Mostly because I was wearing khakis and not black pants. (which I wore everyday last year). Yes, my girlfriend is having a good influence on me.

We got three checks last month. Last year they paid us once a month a set amount. This year they are paying us regularly like the rest of the staff which means every two weeks. This is good. This will mean we won't be getting anything in May, but we will be done in May anyway. But it was nice to get the extra check last month.

I can't wait for Christmas. I'm so excited. yay!! Its already Nov. I know that that still means two months. But that is it!!

So, I had someone mention to me that it is important that Kaylynn finish her schooling. Because, what if I die in 10 years? Then how will she provide? I have not considered this too much and so the following will be me thinking through these things, and I'm sure I will miss something.

First, a degree does not necessitate a job. Second, where does trust in the Lord come in? Now, I understand wanting to have her cared for, because, I do. And yes, it is hard to imagine me dying like that, but it does happen. That suddenly leaves my parents/in-laws caring for my family.

So, I mention it to someone else, and he agreed. He said that he would wait a year and work and save and let her finish. I'm not forcing her to quit though. I am not even the one who, back in the beginning, brought up changing her degree to a two year.

The sole reason of that would be for her to have her degree. Because any other positive you try to wiggle out of it, I can argue against.

One of the pastors I talked to was happy to hear she was dropping out to marry me. He didn't seem worried. Of course, he probably wasn't thinking about me dying either.

Someone mentioned that even if college wasn't completed she should have some skills that could help her besides waitressing. She currently manages as well. That's something. She can play/tutor piano. She has already had one student. That's something else.

Idk. . .it is an odd thought. And I frankly can't be satisfied with her having to work at all. Which I think is my problem. If I happen to die, I don't want her to have to work and bring up our kids. Which, Duh, nobody wants that. Hmm. . ./sigh. . . . . .I can't let it bother me. The only conclusion I can come to, is that a degree is not Biblical in itself. If she wants it, I have never been opposed to her getting it. I have told her that. If we pray about it and believe that she should have it then, we will make sure she gets it. That is the only conclusion I can come to I guess.

I need to get some greek done. I got two verses of translation and then this work sheet to fill out. I just found out my roommate disagrees with some of the ideas I am advocating regarding anyone leaving their house without their parents permission. It was an interesting conversation.

movies, meetings, and clear play

So, I can't think of or find any good movies to watch. I'm sure my problem is more with me remembering, because I'm trying to think of some good ones that Kaylynn hasn't seen, but I keep coming up blank.

On that note, my roommate says that Target and Best Buy are carrying "Clear Play" again. A DVD player that filters out words/phrases/scenes based on user preference. I'm thinking this is something to look into. I think you have to pay a monthly membership fee to download regular updates for different movies. It doesn't analyze the movie while its playing; it requires info and then recognizes it and loads it according to user preference. Interesting, but it could get expensive. . .maybe. Idk enough about it yet.

There are evangelistic meetings going on at church this week. I'm obviously at work, and not at the meetings. I will be going Wednesday of course.

I start work at McD tonight. I doubt I will get any training or anything and hope that I can remember everything I need to know.

http://www.clearplay.com/ShopCart.aspx $80 for the player, 3 week back order, and supposedly also available at Target. Plus, you have to buy a membership: $8/month. So, idk. But, you can get 1 month and then just download as many as possible and then quit. The downside is that any new movie you will not have the filter to, but anything older you will already have. There's the info. Make what you will of it.

I have a headache. . .I need to go.

quick post

Things went unexpectedly well Saturday night. They went far far better than I had anticipated. Still, things aren't close to perfect. But it was a conversation, not an argument. They listened. They admitted we had valid points. Over-all, way better than expected. Its just that we have a long ways to go still. I am grateful.

Note on my last blog. I said something to the effect that the prof I discussed with might have been able to beat me. I don't think so now. I would not have been able to argue as positively as I would have liked, but he had holes in his arguments and he had to close discussion because I was ready to grab them. I'm not saying I'm smarter, or more knowledgeable. Just that I think I (personally) do have enough to have presented a valid side to the debate and open questions in everyone's mind.

I may blog more later. This is another busy week, but I wanted to let everyone know how Saturday night went. Thanks for praying.

Hope your week is full of sunshine and everything else.

I feel like I should. . .

blog.

So here I am. I suppose that once I start, I will find I have lots to say. At the moment, not that much.

We have 150 high schoolers on campus this weekend. They arrived for a tournament yesterday and it continues today. I don't have to deal with them too much. Just kick the occasional ones out of the gym since they can't be in there.

I start at McD Monday night. I'm not too thrilled, but I need the cash. My car will need work eventually. I know I keep saying that, but it will sooner or later. Preferably before my tire falls off while I'm driving. God has kept me safe thus far though.

We are going to talk to her parents tonight just about everything that has been going on lately. Some of it is really bad. Some of it is just annoying. We can put up with annoying, and have been for months. We have even put up with more than annoying, but can't anymore. I know most of you are probably saying "Its about time," but this is just how its happened.

The new secretary keeps leaving work for me to do. It isn't that I don't have time. Because I do. I sit here and supervise and the work has always been something that is easy, just lots of folding or stapling etc. But what I had to get over is that she leaves it for me. She is the third secretary I worked under and no1 else even asked me to, and she kinda tells me to. It is annoying, but I'm trying not to complain.

My roommates two brothers set up their computers on a desk at our house. We have room and everything, so its not a problem. But they are over there almost more than me now. If we don't count my sleeping hours then they are there more than me. It is kinda cool. Its less quiet. Its nice to have more people around. We get along fine and they are cool guys.

I think the younger one will be moving into my room next semester (if the business office will approve it). I don't mind since my room is huge and rent will drop. It will force me to keep my room clean anyway. Stuff like shared closet space will be a bit interesting, but over-all, the money issue will be worth it, imo. We still have to get it approved by the business office though. =/

My brother got his internet back, and he still hasn't posted his 13th episode. . .what's that about I wonder?

I didn't make tuna this morning, and since that's all I have at my house I brought a bag full of candy to work today for my breakfast/lunch/dinner. I may have to run home at some point to grab a PB sandwich. I have no jam/jelly thus, only PB. Which isn't too bad. Stick a couple snickers on a smothered PB sandwich and its filling and good.

I did well on groceries this month, but I also went out to eat more than normal. Thus, I probably didn't really make anything.

I'm trying not to worry about anything. That is good. I still need lots of money. But God is answering prayer and that is good. I would of course like to win the Monopoly McD contest. If anyone gets boardwalk, lmk. I have parkplace and we can make something work. ;)

Class is class. It is the busy time of year, and things don't slow down until about Christmas day. That is, because I have a module near the end of Nov. and it takes like 5 different papers. "Try to get ahead Dave," you say. But alas, I do not have the time. The paper I'm working on now is due Monday. Next week I work on a message I preach the following Wed. Then that week I work on a paper due that Friday. It keeps going and snowballs, and then AIAUHGUAGHHUAGUAG. Well, maybe not that bad. I have a Jeremiah and Ezekiel class. I have had this professor twice before I think. I have gotten A's both times. I have him two classes this semester. I may get a B in J&E. Mostly my fault. . .ok, all my fault. I don't know, but the way things are going I can see it ending up that way. . .no, no, it should be an A. So far, my GPA is a 3.65 from last year. I'm kinda happy with that. I want a 3.75 when I graduate, but it may be too late. I'm already half-way through this semester, and even one B would seriously hurt my chances of that. Everything else I'm getting A's in.

So, I was sitting in class yesterday, and this is the only regular prof I have had that I had not yet engaged on the version issue went it has arisen. I didn't really have a reason why either, except it just has not seemed the time. Well, yesterday he had a full page in the notes regarding why the KJB position is in error. For some reason I still hesitated. But then I jumped in. He let me say a few things, and closed discussion. I was rather disappointed. He was the only one I was more worried could actually beat me, (due to my ignorance, not his side being right) and instead he just closed discussion. I understand him being able to do that. I don't think it was enough discussion however considering the notes brought us off-topic and 1 full page deserves more time than 1 paragraph. But it wasn't my call.

I find I can argue brilliantly negatively. But so can most anyone. The word perfect kills us. We argue perfect, we must do so from a theoretical stand, not a practical, which negates our whole purpose. Perfect. . .what is perfect? The TR? which TR? How many different editions were there? (plenty. . .at least 6) Which one? We can't claim the one translated for the KJB solely because the KJB was translated from it. That is reverse reasoning. We claim the KJB only because it arose from the TR. So claim a perfect TR and ANY critical guy is going to ask you which TR? And then, who are we to determine that TR?

On the other hand, I can throw out their text without any problem as well. My negative argument is strong, but so is theirs. We are arguing for the complete Word of God. We are arguing for perfection whether we use the word or not. So, while it may help our argument not to use the word "perfect", if the opposition knows anything they will be arguing against perfection anyway.

BUT throwing out perfection, throws out certainty. We argue from certainty first; we must arrive at perfection. But then we must find it. In order to find it, we look, and see the tradition of the TR/KJB. BUT, how often do we fall back on the KJB to point us to the TR? If we do. . .we are arriving at the KJB from the TR tradition, and then arriving at the correct edition of the TR from the KJB. That is not quite the same as circular reasoning. In fact, I think it could pass as sound logic.

There are supposedly three texts, but the majority text holds the same "thinking" position as the critical. They arrive at their texts differently, but neither hold them to be perfect. They hold them to be "best."

Something else that bothers me. Inquisitive natures are good. But don't assume that just because something goes against your argument that it was fabricated (<-- good word; better than saying "made up."). I know some people who last year said that maybe the LXX (LXX = 70; this is another name for the Septuagint. It was complied supposedly by 70 men, and is a Greek translation of the OT) didn't exist, and was just made up by scholars. Anyone arguing my side who says that I want to get away from. Because obviously the Septuagint did exist, and if you mention that maybe it didn't you are demonstrating ignorance of the field/history of the Bible as a whole.

Now, to be fair. This was brought up in a closed setting and thus not as big a deal. It wasn't mentioned as actual argument; but it was mentioned as "maybe the LXX doesn't really exist, [because if it was made up I would have an easier time arguing my side]" This just is not a good thing to say.

There are like 7 guys in the weight room right now. That's a lot for a Saturday morning.

I'm going to have to get a sweatshirt I think. I'm chilly. Partly because the door keeps opening and its cold outside (46).

My mom sent me cookies/brownies and a candy bag along with other stuff. The cookies/brownies are all gone. The candy bag is all I have for food until I get home or unless someone brings me food (unlikely). Normally I do a better job of making this stuff last. Oh well.

I haven't heard many people going to homestarrunner lately. It was a big thing a couple years ago. . .seems to be dying in my circles. Maybe people are too busy, or maybe they just don't talk about it as much.

And its only 11:37. I have all day to write more.

wow, and now its 12:37. 1 whole hour came and went. And I didn't do too much.

I finished some more reading. I should probably do my Greek now or something. I am very very very hungry. Very. And I'm tired of eating candy. I think I'm going to run home real fast and grab some bread and some PB. I don't know what else to do. 3:10.

I'm just gonna post this now so I can close my window. I may come back and edit it before the day is out. If not, have a good day.

Ok, so I'm back. 4:10.

My gf showed up and we talked a little. She is going shopping to buy her sister a birthday present since that is Monday. We are both putting our names on it.

We also talked about tonight. She doesn't think things are going to go near as bad as I have been thinking they will. I can kinda see what she's saying, but at the same time I'm afraid that we have let so much pile up that for me, I want to solve it all now. I think if we try to deal with it slowly it might be ok, but I'm still not sure how to go about it. The biggest problem, that I seem to be able to concisely define is that we are treated like kids. I mean there are others, but something I can bring up and then discuss will be that.

Side note: this office is freezing. I just thought it was really cold today. I went outside and the sun is warm. It isn't great, but its a nice day out, and I'm sitting in here with my fingers wanting to fall off.

I went home and got PB sandwiches. We have this super thin sliced bread. I used 4 pieces each one separated by PB. And then made two sandwiches. mmmmmm. I stuck two candy bars in the middle of the second one to add some seasoning. Yes, chocolate chips woulda been better and more efficient, but I don't have any so, nyah! I have wanted a bag though for a while. It just isn't one of those necessities. Maybe I'll grab one next time I'm shopping and just throw it into the PB. hmm.

You know what sounds good? cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. I need to buy a block I think. It would last me maybe two days.

I'm going to go now. Pray for me tonight. peace. 4:46.

Saturday again

Seems like it was just Saturday a little bit ago. But here it is again.

In 1955 today, Tolkien published RotK.

I kinda feel like re-reading WoT, but then I think about all 11 books and that they are 800-1,000 pages long each and I decide not to.

I think when I come home for Christmas I'm going to bring my Brisco tapes back out here with me. We rent 1-2 movies every weekend and we could just watch through the series. . .and its a good series.

"Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling said Friday after a Carnegie Hall reading." -- Yeah, you probably didn't need to know that, but now you do. Impact on life? Not much really.

I feel like immersing myself in a story. Of course this feeling won't last long. Currently I am stress free because I finished my job and my test. But then I have another paper, and then preach and another paper. And then another paper, and 5 more papers, and three more tests. . .yeah, I won't have time to think about, write, or read a story. Oh well. And I can't read all of WoT in 1 day. . .heh, I tried reading book 11 in 2 days. I didn't get much sleep.

always wanted to write your own comic? Here ya go: http://www.homestarrunner.com/stinko_comic.html

One of my friends was over at the house making a web page the other day. It looked really nice. It made me want to learn more html and work at it. But I don't really have time/drive for a web page anyway. Well, I just spent maybe 30-45 minutes and came out with pretty much nothing. That's too bad. Oh well.

I slept 11 hours last night. I was exhausted, and I went to bed early. It felt good.

We have a the last home VB game of the season today. It is also parents day or some such.

I need a computer job. No, wait. What I need is a job where I work on computers. Any type of business or accounting, etc job will work. I like working with computers and I like working in management and with numbers. Maybe I could do something with that.

So, I finished my argument for the TR over the CT on some forums just now. Turned out to be 8 pages in length.

4 hours left. . .then I'm going to my GF's to watch transformers. =D

I think she gets out of work soon. . .maybe she'll stop by and see me. That'd be cool.

I'm gonna go watch some VB now. Maybe eat this apple I got here. yeah, sounds good....bbl. 2:17.

My girl friend showed up with lots of candy for me since its Sweetest day. She's the best. I'm planning on bringing her flowers tonight. (That sounds wrong. . .I was planning on it before she brought me anything.)

I think I'm letting my tiredness, and lack of time ruin my ingenuity. I talked to my friend and he was disappointed with how I've been doing. . .I am too for that matter.

I need to get my head back into my school work. I have stuff that needs to get done this week.

1.5 hours left. I just want to get out of here.

You know, I hate being broke. Just thought I'd throw that one out there.

I can't wait to be done with school this year.

I think I found something I have been looking for for years. It appears to be a valid work-from-home cite. It just posts jobs from real companies. Of course, it isn't "mega-bucks" or anything. But they are work-at-home jobs. Most are hourly based and some form of telemarketing or another. . .I don't know if I could do it, but staying at home makes it appealing. I would need a land line and a good long distance plan though. Something to think about anyway.

Well, I'm gonna get going. . .hope your weekend is going well. 5:41.

148/150 on my midterm.

3v3 basketball tourney tonight. I'm watching most of it. Kinda entertaining. Ttyl. 7:10pm.

the work week

Day 1 - new kid; learning the ropes, and treated as such
Day 2 - shy kid; continue learning, asked if always this quiet, and if I'm ok
Day 3 - just work; accepted my personality as shy, and now we all just work
Day 4 - good worker; recognized as a hard worker and delegated to different jobs accordingly
Day 5 - Preferential treatment continues
Day 6 - Given easier work; some trust extended
Day 7 - I quit. . .=D


Yeah, that kinda sums up my 7 days at Spacesaver. I wake up and my whole body aches. It is almost like a complete body workout. My back, arms, abs, and legs are all sore. My hands are killing me too. That is weird for me. It is like in the bones. . .I don't like it. Hopefully it will go away after tonight. I have to have a tight grip throughout the entire night.

I'm starving. Haven't been eating too much lately. Mostly because I need sleep and I'm too lazy to get up early to pack myself a lunch. I eat when I get up and then go all night without eating. Then I usually eat something when I get home.

I need to go grocery shopping again. Need eggs, peanuts, bread, and possibly mayo.

I've spent a lot in gas this past week.

I cut my hair again. It looks pretty good.

I hope McD has lots of cookies to throw away again if I work there. I could use cookies.

Halloween is coming up. I wonder if I'll get a candy bag this year.

Chocolate cake sounds really good right now.

I have my Greek midterm in the morning. I'm kinda worried, but we'll see how it goes.

I wonder if I can make Mac and cheese and tuna in 15 minutes before I need to go to work. . .hmmmm

I'm hungry if you can't tell.

I need to go. . .Hope you're all doing well. Peace. 9:06

LotR character

I am Elrond btw. . .I didn't save the paragraph, but I wasn't too impressed with it anyway.

argh!

This week is terrible. I am working third shift, which in itself is bad. Then the job is physically demanding and I am always exhausted. But the worst thing is the fact that I don't get to see my gf very much. Add to that fact that her best friend is going through a really hard time, and neither of us are in the best mood and we both miss each other a lot right now. bleh!

So, this girl I know loves this guy. And he loves her. But he has 3 years of school left and she is changing her degree to two years. Anyway, her dad got upset and decided that they couldn't talk to each other. Part of it was the fact that she is changing her degree. Part of it is that she might be able to get married sooner if she's out of school, though that wasn't what she was thinking. Now granted, she wouldn't be allowed to live at home nor would they keep paying for her college. . .but she's going to break up with him. They are talking about it of course. And its their decision as a couple I guess....but her dad made it. Now, if you are going to give up the person you love and planned on marrying because your dad has a control problem . . . idk. I told her it was a bad idea. Maybe she's scared. Maybe he's scared. Idk. It makes no sense to me. I can't fathom it. Where do parents get off with the god-syndrome? "Yes, you can." "No you can't." Do this, do that. I'm sick of rules, and I'm sick of people trying to project their authority where it does not belong.

It baffles me that anyone could do that anyway. Why would anyone as a parent say that? Well, true. But I understand that more than the fact that the two of them are going to break up over it. Really. . .what does that mean? My first guess is that they don't care about each other that much. But then again, he skipped all his classes today and she cried all day. So, obviously they care in some sense. I would like to clunk their heads together to wake them up. They need to learn to grow up and be adults and not wait for permission to do so.

Anyway, I have to go. ttyl.

Stolen material

Yeah, I saw this on Phil's blog so I figured I'd take it too.

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=43870

Fundamentalist --> 93%
Reformed Evangelical --> 93%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan --> 79%
Neo orthodox --> 50%
Charismatic/Pentecostal --> 29%
Classical Liberal --> 29%
Emergent/Postmodern --> 25%
Modern Liberal --> 4%
Roman Catholic --> 4%

Generally speaking, I'm happy with my results given that some questions were worded somewhat poorly. I was somewhat surprised that "Neo-orthodox" was 50%, but I'm guessing it was from the poorly worded questions.

I started a 3rd shift job last night. I take metal shelves off the ling and put them in a box according to the order number, part, and box quantity. The shelves do not ride on a low line, but rather hang from hooks about 10ft above us, so it is constantly working my shoulders. Which is good....but I was so sore today. I have to go back tonight. Thankfully, next week is a module so I won't be worrying about sleep too much. Then, I will try to go get a job at McD since I won't be able to keep this up.

Need to go, got lots to do.

edit: I wanted a title in here...here it is

im busy, but I thought I would let you all know that I don't miss WoW anymore. I have been busy and I'm sure that's part of it, but I have also just been doing other stuff. So, yeah, good news there.

I really really really really really don't want to work at McD. But I may have to. If I don't find another job this week I'm applying there. Really. . .I mean it. Seriously.

And. . .I'm trying to be happy. And smile. People say I don't smile. About 6-7 years ago, people I worked with said I smiled too much. I remember smiling a lot. Something happened in that time. Must not have been good, because now my face is stuck in a non-smiling position and even when I try to work on it people tell me I don't look very happy. Rats. Oh well. . .Idk why I decided to wait till closing time to blog, because now that I start typing I think I could just keep going.

I'm getting better at typing too. Usually, I need to be thinking what I'm typing rather than trying to read it from something else or copy it, but I rarely look at the keyboard and I can type somewhat fast. Probably not as fast nor as accurate as my sister, but hey. . .

I miss you guys. All of you. Hope you are all fine. And I can't wait to see most of you around Christmas. Matt. . .well, I understand and I'm happy for you. But you will definitely be missed.

I need to run. 3 more months. That's all. I can make it.

btw, I got 51/50 on my greek vocab test. Greek this year has been surprisingly easy. Kinda scary considering . . .I gtg. 9:53.

starting again

So, I app'd at McD. I asked for $9/hr. I ended last time making $7. They told me they could give me $8. I also heard about a factory job about 30 min away making 10-12, but I would need to work 5 days a week. Its all 3rd shift. My plan: work the factory job for two weeks and then work McD until next summer. That's my plan...yay! right?

Other things are going well. . .I guess. I'm feeling better, and that can make up for lots of other things going well. I mean, I can feel sick and things go well and its awful. But things can be so-so and I feel better and its so nice.

Well. . .I'm excited about Christmas. Only 3 months. yay!

I am trying to lose some weight again. We'll see how it goes. I'm not going to be able to lift if I get this other job. Even the McD job will infringe on my normal workout. I might have to rearrange it. =/

So, last year I had chili beans and liked them the first time. This year, I have had baked beans occasionally because Kaylynn brings them for lunch and she shares. But now I bought some to eat with my tuna. . .I love baked beans. mmmmMMmmm Hopefully they don't get old like the chili beans did. I also can't afford to eat half a can every day. That's like another $.50 a day. But for now, they are good and I'm happy.

I love her. She makes me so happy.

There is a VB game tonight. And another one on Thursday and another one on Friday. Lots of home games this week. I also found out I'm going to be working the football game again instead of supervising. /shrug. I like knowing ahead of time.

I'm trying to find someone to cover for me so I can go to Fall festival with my gf. Hopefully someone will.

alright, brb. 6:41

well, i gtg. . .9:41

bored

Yeah, I want to debate. I want to read WoT. I want to let my mind loose. I need to let it run right now. And I feel tied to little stuff that requires no expansion. I need something of non-importance that excites me and that I need to think about. Or a good book so that I can lose myself in the story.

What has happened....well, I feel a TON better.

Fastenal called and they want me to come in as soon as I get my driving record. Its in the mail so, we'll see when it gets here. I'm still planning on going into some temp agency like places Tuesday.

Class this week went well. It was actually fun, and we enjoyed the class. I have 1,000 pages of reading and one 15 pages paper. I have 12 weeks from yesterday to complete it. . .hahahahahaha, 12 weeks. That's great.

Um, what else. . .nothing much has changed with the Onasch household.

I feel fat.

We are having a afternoon service and chili-meal tomorrow. I love chili with cheese and fritos. mmMMmm.

I was asked to teach Sunday School near the end of this month. Not sure what I'm teaching on yet.

I was also asked if I would be interested in preaching at a church about two hours away. I said sure. So, hopefully I will get an "ok" notice if I get to do that. Hopefully, things will work out for Kaylynn to go with me and she can play special music and I will preach. Of course, her sister will have to come because of the "can't be in the same car by yourself" rule. bleh. But preaching would be good.

My computer started having problems Thursday. I came home and it was off. Apparently someone didn't like how loud it was and turned it off. Well, /shrug, no big deal. Except when I turn it back on it won't register the ethernet card. No matter what I do it doesn't show up. So, now I don't have any internet. So, now I have to carry with me a USB drive because I can't email myself stuff from school to home, etc.

The WoW forums are dying down, and it makes em boring to read and makes me not want to play as much. That's good over all. I don't have too much time to devote to that anyway.....actually, do I have any time?

I'm in the mood to "do something." I feel like I haven't in a while. Some people are like "why do you always need to 'do something?'" /shrug. Idk, but not doing anything gets routine. I'm going to a violin recital tonight. Does that count? I guess I'll find out.

I had to work the football game today. It really isn't much work at all. What it does mean however is that I'm outside instead of inside. I don't get to work on homework. It isn't like I would get a TON done anyway. I have two hours and I spend it blogging/forums/e-mail. Oh well.

I feel like I have energy built up and I just need to let it out. I did play VB this week. Maybe its because I was sick for so many days and then I didn't work out because of it and now I'm just wired.

Alright. I'm outta here in 15 minutes. Then I get to go home and shave, change and come back to here a recital....and I have to wear a suit. /phooey.

The Onasch family left for the weekend except Kaylynn and her sister. So, I will go over tonight after the recital and watch a movie or two. I'm going to be starving. . . . .Maybe I should eat when I go home. Probably.

I really don't like when things don't go according to plan. But that's not being flexible. Maybe I should stop planning so much? sure.

ok, im done.....at least I blogged once this week. Unlike some people I know. *hint hint*

peace

sick as a dog

Yeah, I am sick. It isn't anything serious. I just have a bad cold. Its going around. I walked into the living room last night and found a waste basket devoted to kleenexes. I'm stuffed up, tired, and groggy. I have been so for the past few days and really, it put me in a mood I haven't been in around the Onasch family. The kids thought it was funny. /shrug

Turns out, the boys still think they are going to stand in our wedding. What on Earth gave them that idea, idk. We said they could be in it. But wow, they musta got their mind set. . .too bad for them.

My girl friend is sooo good to me. She is understanding, and kind. She spoils me too. =D She brought me Mac and Cheese and Hot pockets for dinner today.

I'm sitting in the office and all's it would take for me to sleep is to stop fighting it.

I have a module this week. 1,000 pages of reading, and 1 15-25 page paper. That's it. And, because people asked. I have a full 12 weeks before any of it is due. Sounds like a good class. ;)

However, 12 weeks is, the 21st of Dec. Sooo, I better not be waiting till the end to get it done. Actually, once this week is over with I kinda hope to start on one of my other papers. I've got 4 that I'm unsure of. That's too many. And this one might make it 5. /groan.

I just want to sleep now....no desire to play games, or watch movies. I want to be with my girl friend and since she left I just want to sleep. I'll be going to bed as early as possible tonight. I haven't even turned my PC on in two days. o.O

I am doing "ok" in Greek. A- currently. My problem is the quizzes on Mon/Wed. They aren't worth as much as the rest, but they are also timed and really short. I just haven't been doing great on them. Everything else, I'm doing just fine. Thanks be to God.

You know when you get all achy? and you just feel really hot, and everything you do hurts? That's where I am right now. I never thought about it before, but I get really bad colds. Just sneezed 18 times. /sigh. I think I'm gonna get back to my Greek. Ttyl. Hope you guys are all doing well. Call me more often. I'm busy, but even if we only talk for 5-10 min, that would be cool. I'll try to call too. peace.

hello

Well...remember last year? I was new out here. Wasn't sure what I was doing really. Still getting to know my roommates. Going over to Steph's house all the time. Renting lots of movies. Eating out every Sunday. I miss Chinese. I will have to take Kaylynn sometime. People blogged. I started blogging. At this point in last semester I was probably kinda shocked at the blatant disrespect for the Word of God. I was still getting to know my boss and the class routines. I was confident overall. I attended church things. I think I was still incredibly disgusted with the churches/pastors in the area. I wanted to start my own meetings. My hair was still buzzed. I was pleased with the calvinistic view of most people. I didn't realize that my cutomers were also the ones I was enforcing rules on. I worked McD for about 24 hours a week and was literally exhausted. I had more money than I really needed to survive though.

Things change. I have a girl friend now. I plan on getting married next summer, Lord willing. I know a lot more about the Bible issue. I have become used to my classes and profs, my roommates and boss, my job and the campus. I have less money, and don't have a second job yet. I don't know my rent, nor do I have a complete budget.

I do have a lead on a second job. My cousin said the HR person at the bank said they were looking for another part time position. I think I could do it. Wait, of course I could do it. . .whether or not I would like it is different. I've been thinking about work lately.

You have factory work or work kinda like the Custom Shoppe is where I woulda worked by myself all day. 8 hours a day assembling stuff. Physically/materially difficult. Yay. Then you get the bank job. 8 hours a day counting money. Mentally difficult. But surrounded by people. Co-workers and customers. Which is harder? Now, you could get a factory job where you are surrounded by people. . .that could be the worst because people are just plain bleh! (most of the time in those situations.) But in a situation like the bank I'm looking at what? Probably office politics and stupid stipulations for the sake of policy. But I've dealt with that through all of fast food.

I'm happy I only have 1 year left. I'm thankful God brought me back, and I'm grateful that it appears I will finish with an M.A. Yeah, its not a PhD, and when I think about it, my MA is not worth much compared to a M.R. or a Th.M. or a D.Min. But, its more than a BS/BA. And aside from the "churchy" field, an MA counts for something. I think I got discouraged when I realized that in light of other members of my family's advanced degrees, this one isn't worth much at all. But I should really stop comparing myself like that. Besides, if I go to law school that will put me in a different field and completely ahead. . .whoops! I'm making it competitive again. ;)

I want to get married. I suppose that if I were to talk to most adults about it, they would say that waiting another 6 months from when we are planning isn't a big deal. Most might say that waiting an extra year isn't either. And I am pretty sure that when I'm 40, 50, oh 70 years old I'm going to look back and say 6 months wasn't that big a deal. Of course, something huge could happen and it could all be a huge deal, but practically speaking, me thinking about when I look back, I don't think I would say it was. However, right now. . .its huge. The stupid rules are driving me crazy. I miss her. I saw her 2.5 hours ago. You think I'm crazy? Well, I miss her anyway. Its not just the rules of course. I wouldn't have to worry about saying goodnight over the phone. I wouldn't have to leave after the movie. We wouldn't have to meet in the library to work on homework. So, yeah, I don't want to wait any longer than the already planned date.

Greek is getting harder...Like I actually need to work on it instead of just knowing it. So, its getting harder in that I need to study instead of just getting the answers easily. /shrug.

I'm helping Kaylynn with her computer app class. Mostly I just slow her down, and help with some odds and ends, but I learned some kinda neat stuff today.

Which rebel officer told Leia he "feared the worst" when he heard about Alderaan?

i gtg

ok, here's the deal

I didn't get into Covance. Apparently my Cholesterol is too high. And also, something with my liver. /shrug. I didn't get in.

I also have not heard from the Custom Shoppe. Now, tbh, I would rather not work there. But the money is good, and they would work with my hours. If that's what God gave me, I wouldn't complain about it.

My cousin got a job at another bank. Making good money. They start tellers at $9.00 and it would be a job worth putting on my resume, imo. And they are hiring parttime help I guess. So, maybe I can try to get in somewhere. If they work with me a bit, that would be a more enjoyable (than the Custom Shoppe) job, imo.

I talked it over with my GF, and neither of us really want to wait any longer than next June. Next Dec was mentioned but it wasn't entertained very long. Soooo, what does that mean? I'm not sure exactly. I need a job though. That much I know.

Every time I hear about an injury in an organized sport it makes me glad I never played. I heard some kid got his arm broke tonight.

We are having some sorta party at my house tonight. It starts at 7 though and I don't get off work till 10. So....hopefully there is food left over.

The good news is, I don't have to wait till Tuesday to find out if I get in to Covance.

There is a module not next week but the following. I was going to skip it because it isn't needed, but I just got an e-mail that it counts as a normal, NT, or OT elective. Since I need both a normal and an OT elective I will probably take it now. I think its supposed to be an easier course too. But I haven't had this prof before so I hope its not bad. Its 1,000 pages of reading and 1 15-25 page paper. Of course I'm taking it. Most classes are 1000+ and 3-2 papers plus a final. One paper? Are you kidding? Wow! yippe! Yahoo! cool.

So, that's cool. I need to start remembering to bring my phone charger to work, especially on Fridays. I don't feel like working. My brother calls for a bit which is cool. but by then my phone is already getting low.

I am avoiding the weight room this weekend due to the staph signs. But I really need to get back in there on Monday. Soooo, I hope I don't get anything.

I will go app for jobs Tuesday. Where will I go? I do not know. First the bank, then I'll go with the flow. Petty rhymes? I know, I know.

Bah! Since I'm taking the class after this week, I will need two electives next semester. I think that's it though. With Greek of course. And Dispsations which isn't offered till June. But I have some ideas about that. More work for me....lots more work, but it will make my girlfriend happy, so I'm gonna see if I can do it.

My roommate is not moving out. He tends to get excited about ideas and then not do them when he thinks through them. I'm glad hes not moving. I would be super stuck if he did. I mean....me and Jon? Jon's nice and all, but augh. Jon got into a study this semester. He goes for 4 days 4 times. Good money though from what I hear.

Today is Frodo's and Bilbo's Birthday. On that note, I did several Star Wars trivia questions today. So, I'm gonna try to post one with every blog....of course you could cheat and look it up, but let's see if you really know. Question: Who was the captian of the Tantive IV?

Meh, I'm hungry now. The good news is that I don't have to worry about being too fat for covance. yay. Wow, I just got really tired too. Figures. I'm glad there are only two more weeks of this month. I'm tired of it. I really want to move onto Nov. and then Dec. will be right around the corner. Of course, then I will be waiting for June too. . .I am happy to spend as much time right now as I can with Kaylynn, its just that it doesn't normally seem like enough.

I'm out of Peanut Butter. rats.

At this point I'm thinking "I can't believe I still have an hour and a half left here." Its Friday night. No1 wants to be in the gym. The guys who mighta worked out are hesitant due to the sign on the door. There are two girls playing basketball or something in the little gym. And I'm out of food. Well, good food. I got some more crackers left.

My boss tells me that I need to eat some steak, fries, and drink some pop. That was his response to me saying my Cholesterol was high. Tbh, fries sound really really good right now. Maybe tomorrow we can have burgers and fries.

Several new sb_e-mails. Cool.

I miss my girl friend. She's watching a movie with her sister.

I still have to do my greek extra credit. At least I don't have to talk to my profs about missing class.

Going to fold some more of these things. . .I guess. Ok, now going to check on the laundry. Brb.

Now what?!! Under an hour left to go. YAY!!@!!!! There are all sorts of people at my house. The more people get invited the less food will be there for me when I get there. I may have to eat. . .what? I got ramen and Mac and cheese but I have no milk for the mac and cheese.

I need a hair cut. I forgot to ask my mom if she had any tips for cutting my own hair. Oh well. I'm gonna trim the back sometime tomorrow (I hope). Its getting really long though.

Man, I'm sounding kinda selfish. Sorry. . .I'm just really hungry.

I tried to join a forum so I could type up some responses, but noooo, the admin has to approve me and they arent around or something because this is taking forever!

VB was fun yesterday. We only had 5 show up though. So...back to the old drawing board. We only need like 3 more people. But, on the list we have 3-4 that aren't showing up. =/ Gonna have to revise it.

Aw, my gf is sooo sweet. She asked if I wanted pizza tomorrow, so I think we will get pizza instead of normal fast food. She is so amazing. I love her so much. /sigh

Well, 15 minutes and I can go home. I finished everything I needed to get done. So.....good for me.

I figured out that the PTR requires your account to have been active for like 7 weeks before you want to transfer characters. So, anyway, I am able to login. So I did some research and figured out how to transfer my characters and waited 2 days and Voila! I have two 19 gnomes on the PTR. ;) And I can login and play them for free. Amazing. Of course, there aren't any normal people on. The times I play, the twinks are playing in their own BG. So, it doesn't give me any incentive to play, but it was a nice little project to see if I could without paying. I can.

I'm thinking of researching computer stuff again. There is so much. That's the problem. I have so many things that I think "This could be a good hobby." Unforunately, some of them are costly. Some arent, but I rarely concentrate on them enough to learn enough to actually get into it very much. Hackthissite.org was a good one. Maybe I should go back there and mess around.

I'm not very good with programming. And the more I think about it, I don't think I would enjoy a job where I was a programmer. However, maybe the skills, and some basic programming will come in handy sometime. I assume it will, or something from CMU will. . .or otherwise it was just the stepping stone to get here where I could meet my gf.

I would enjoy teaching a logic course I think. I certainly enjoyed the class I took, and for basic logic, I could teach an intro course in some budding schools philosophy department. My uncle talked to me the other day about teaching. Said with a MA, school would love to have me teach. Of course Christian school teachers don't make huge $$$$, but still, the thought had not occured to me in quite some time. I remember before my dad would talk about it, and I thought "He loves teaching....I just don't want to teach." Now it sounds appealing. My uncle thought I would be able to do it if I wanted to. That's probably true. If I put my mind to it and that's where God wanted me, I'm sure I could teach. Of course, I have the subjects and things that I would want to teach. And there are things I couldn't teach, but /shrug. It was a thought I had not considered in some time.

The other thought that sounds more appealing lately is law school. I'm not sure why. It might be because I watched a movie with a lawyer. Or it might be because I think I could do it. Or it might be because I think in the great grand scheme of things, another 2 years in school can't be THAT bad. But it is...really. But anywho. I get to leave in 5 mintues!!

Of course, I was told that there are plenty of jobs down in FL. That is of course in contrast to MI where the economy is poor. We shall see how things go though. MI is of course my first choice. And my GF has been gracious enough to say that it is fine with her as long as I have work. Of course, we (we think) would both like the Washington DC area, but cost of living is waaaaay too high. I doubt I can find a job to support us out there. Maybe once I get my law degree, but not now.

Anyway, food for thought. I typed a lot. Cya all laters. 9:44.

Staph infection on campus. Pants are recommended in the weight room. Wash thoroughly before/after workout. . . . .if I get into Covance I shouldn't have to worry about it. Hopefully it will all be better by time I get back. Not that I'm too worried anyway, but change means more work. And not just more, but more of an uncertain nature.

I'm not opposed to work. Or even lots of work. I'm opposed to work that is inconsistent and irregular. I don't like irregularity. I wouldn't mind coming to work knowing I had a hard 8 hours. But I do mind coming to work thinking I know what the day involves and finding out its a bunch of randomness every other hour. Why am I blogging about this? I don't know.

I am feeling kinda good right now. I'm not sure why. I didn't hear about my job. My roommate just told me he wasn't going to work out with me anymore. He's going to try to get up early and go swimming with his brothers, instead of lift late after work. I don't know if I'm getting into Covance, and I have pretty much no money. I do have a wonderful girl friend though. I had a pretty easy week all around. Got some research done for a paper. Doing ok on my Greek extra credit. I'm trusting God to supply the money I need for different things.

Tomorrow is Greek again. Bleh. I like eating beef. I was craving beef so much last night. If I had been hungry I woulda eaten McDs. But I wasn't hungry, just wanted some beef. So I was able to tide myself over with a piece of pie. I haven't really been hungry at all today. I haven't eaten too much either. I really want to buy some peanuts. I ate some of my roommates' and mmMMmm. Besides, there is 112g of Protien and 32g of fiber in jar. If its cheap enough I can afford it, and eat half a can of peanuts with 1 can of tuna and make that my diet every day. Might need to check sodium/etc. Oh well, peanuts sound really good. And my Peanut Butter is almost out. No surprise since the last couple days I have been eating it by the spoonful.

I miss my gf. She's at home doing homework. I'm at the gym blogging. I should get back to my homework too I suppose.

I got some of this super bland bran cereal. But its kinda nice to have something crunchy to snack on or eat with my tuna. Cheese sounds really good right now too. The thing that will hurt most any diet are the cravings. That's what I read anyway. . .and have learned from experience.

5 pages left of Greek copying. 7 minutes a page gives me about 40 minutes if I try not to be too distracted. That puts it at 8pm. I better get back to it. I'll probably take another break though. Maybe to eat more bran flakes. yum yum.

So, bascially to get in shape for boxing you need to jump rope all the time. All sorts of different ways. I should really do more cardio. That's one thing that is going to be harder since my roommate is abandoning me. oh well.

It is now 8pm. I have 3 pages left. Yes, I only got 2 done. But I spent some time talking and then reading other stuff. Its ok. Really.

VB tonight. I'm kinda excited. Should be fun. My legs are killing me for some reason though. They were from Tuesday. Its going to make tonight interesting. Sitting is fine but when I stand/walk/run "oww." meh. I don't like to lose, so I'll play through it.

You know...the pluses with working in a food place is you get to eat, and generally its cheap. But if you are also, say the VP of some company, you could eat well and it would probably be free as well. Just a thought.

You would think things like that too if you sat in a gym office and ate bran flakes and tuna every hour or so.

alrighty, gtg.....9:45

ok, another day

Well, it is another day. HA!

I got to sleep in today. The first day in a real long time. It felt good. Of course, I didn't get to bed till about 2am due to some Greek stuff. So, a little over 8 hours....not bad.

I was called today from the place, and I have a second interview tomorrow with the 1st shift assembly supervisor. I think at the job fair she said assembly makes $9.00. That would be sweet. I could get my rent paid for the past 4 months, and possibly fix my car. Then, just maybe, I will have some savings......sorry. That was very negative.

God is good. I bought my Hebrew books like the week class started. They just got here yesterday. Last night I got an e-mail from another student who ordered the books and didn't get them yet. He was looking for the books. I e-mailed him and asked for the price I paid. He hesitated earlier today, but then paid me this afternoon. So, thankfully he didn't ask for them sooner b/c I didn't have them. So I got the money back. Praise the Lord!

I hate looking at things like this, but really, only 3 more months. Really, the semester is only started....I know this. But still, 3 more months. Bleh!

I should send an e-mail out about VB Thursday. Brb.

Ok, now that I talked to 3 different people and tried to give some sound advice and actually finally got the e-mail sent....now I'm going to do greek. So, what a lousy blog update this was, eh? oh well. I'll try to blog again....Thursday. I got a quiz tomorrow morning btw. So, pray about that if you don't have anything else on your lists. ;)

alrighty

So, first, thank you to everyone that prayed for the last couple days. We did meet with pastor Saturday morning and it went about as well as I coulda reasonably expected it to go. Late Saturday night we decided we needed to figure out everything that we wanted to discuss Sunday. As we talked about it we realized the response we would get to everything and the big drive that we had previous to talking to pastor wasn't there for me, and she wasn't sure so we decided not to. It made our afternoon easier. We would still appreciate your prayers regarding the whole situation.

I had a job interview today with "The Custom Shoppe." They make expensive custom furniture. I would work Tue/Thur 6-4 or something close to that. The interviewer has to talk to all the supervisors to see where I would best fit and if they have openings. Then I have to have another interview with them, and then they do background checks, drug screening, etc. If all that works, I can be hired. yay!

I find out about Covance a week from tomorrow. I'm praying I get in b/c I need the money, but I'm going to miss Kaylynn. If I don't get in, it will be interesting.

I never realized I was such a worrier and lacked so much trust until this semester. My car needing repairs 2 times and needing to get the bearing fixed might be part of it, but I'm trying hard to leard to trust God completely.

So, I spent the last two hours looking at jobs all over. Hardly anything in MI. So much stuff in FL its hard for me to be precise in my search and I end up with pages and pages of stuff that requires 5+ years experience. oh well. I will need to look more dilligently next summer, but I just wanted an idea of what was out there.

Doh!! Its 8:39 and my battery is dying. Going to have to do something about that. . . .ok, im out. bye.

EDIT: Today Gandalf escaped from Orthanc.

saturday

I debated blogging today, but I got bored and was tired of looking at Greek. I can't really play games here, nor can I take a nap. So I guess I'll blog a bit.

I am trying to be happy. So this will be a happy post. Some of you might find it offensive if I start bragging about my perfect gf, but :P.

Things I am thankful for: Kaylynn, family, friends, a brother, sisters, parents, karate lessons, piano lessons, SWCCG, school, work, car, house, roommates, peanut butter, church, Bible, spankings, tree swing, tree fort, graduating, nerf fights, MTG, NES - etc, barn/silo, trees, woods, neighbors, cousins, uncles, pastor, health, intellect, dogs, cats, hamsters, Grandparents, birthday parties, hot fudge sunday cake, tuna salad, amusement parks, debates, homeschooling, gym class, PACEs, english, math, chocolate milk, pogo stick, grappling hook, pushups, pullups, Christmas, guns, swords, weapons and warriors, star wars, movies, carmel brownies, good advice, texas hold'em, Sierra games, ebay, google, computers, phone, e-mail, chat, wow, MUDs, Turretin, a beautiful gf, close friends, generous people, trust, green grass/trees, water, USA, hymns, preaching, pork, beef, pizza, baptists, reformers, quiz team, new friends, faithful God, blogs, forums, a helpful gf, suits and ties, WoT series, tacos, lake house, table games, computer science, Sunday School, youth group, IQ tests, sherlock holmes, shakespeare, mini-bike, paper route, sleep, dreams, memory, salvation, physics, algebra, volleyball, trips to FL, ocean, common sense, competition, a gf that loves me, verse memorization after breakfast, review of sunday school after Sunday dinner, going through Revelation at dinner, devotions before bed, pullups, pushups, pillow fights, waterbed, correct grammar, poetry, stories, good lit, good profs, rubic's cube, homestarrunner, gifts, blue skies, rain, storms, power outages, people I trust, that MI and WI aren't that far away, 4th of July, waterfights, laughing, my gf's smile, piano, violin, weddings, vacations, thanksgiving, spring break, pool, BK, managing, working out, ADTEO, Calvin and Hobbes, Dilbert, applesauce and chips, sloppy joe, sunglasses, buffet, memorial day, fall festival, candy bags, hay rides, lava man, trampoline, wrestling, dinosaurs, catching the dinosaur, wheelbarrow dart guns, hot cocoa, snow forts, being in love, people who actually care, chess, ping pong, home made bread, heat, biblical promises. . . etc.

Yeah, I'm sure I missed something. Oh well. It was good for me to think up the list anyway. I had been considering a list something like it back last semester I think, but never got to it. Hope your day is going well. Cheer up! =D 5:45

bah

So apparently someone made a comment to my boss about my GF coming down to the office and chatting with me. It isn't like its a closed place or anything or that there arent lots of people in here. There is huge window on the main wall, and ths door stays open. But meh. . .so, she's allowed to visit, just not stay a long time. . . . . . .whatever that means. I am sick of Christian College rules. Seriously.

We needed to run down the road a ways to get my car because I parked at the other end of campus and we were going to take my roommates car. But no, we couldn't do that because we can't be in the same car together. So we had to walk. Walking doesn't bother me, but she was going to be late for work, and we needed to get going. . .and then we have a stupid rule.

And now, she can't come do her homework here, or just chat. I'm sick of this place. She just showed up. She doesn't want to go home. . . .It doesn't make sense either. I can go workout, play ball, run on the treadmill. I just can't sit in the hall with my gf? Apparently not.

This is going too make this whole semester entirely too long. I work every night, and she was planning on coming to visit. Now, she probably won't be playing VB with us either b/c she won't have anywhere to go for that 1-1.5 hrs before we start.

Bleh! That ruined my night. I was all excited because we have VB tonight. I'm hungry now too.

Why did I come to school again? Wasn't it for a wife? Really? I suppose a degree was part of it. But now that I realize the value this degree actually has, it is kinda discouraging.

VB should be fun tonight. We have 6-8 coming. I hope. It isn't a matter of people wanting to, just a matter of them remembering.

I get bonus points if I study Greek 6 hours a week. Now with all the homework I have I thought that would be easy . . . I'm still two hours short. And I need them in tonight. I do have a quiz to study for. but if I start doing next week's homework then I will have less time spent next week. I'll be fine....eventually its going to be harder homework and it will take 6 hours....I hope?

So she brought me some spaghetti, and pudding, and bread, and carrots, and cookies. It was a good dinner. Yes, she is spoiling me....but she's allowed to.

I need $10k. That would make half the worries I have go away. . . . . .well, maybe more than that. The other half is annoying, but they aren't monetary which means I they have other solutions. Most of my problems are monetary, however. Car, ring, wedding, honeymoon, loans, rent, food, books. . . .etc.

After thinking about it....I'm not going to play the lottery. Yes, I know, you are all disappointed, but I figure I just won't do it. Even though, I could win 283 mil by just buying 1 ticket. No, I'm not going to do it.

Sooooooooo, how do I get some money? I put some apps in. Now I wait. . .I wanted to type "I just don't want to worry anymore." but then I thought...I shouldn't be worrying anyway. Yes, I should trust God to provide for my needs. But then I wonder at what point are these things needs? Yes, I want to get her a nice ring, and have a nice wedding. . .but is that a need? Because then I worry. So, is the money for the ring I want a need? I am supposed to wait on God's timing. If I don't get the money, then does that mean we postpone the wedding? I doubt we would do that. If we have no money, we just cut back on what we want.....but it isn't as if we want something extravagant. Just something nice. So....maybe I'm just supposed to go to Covance and maybe that will all work out and then I won't be wondering anymore. right? Sure.

My brother hasn't called me in forever. He said he was going to. . . .

My problem: All his life have I looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never my mind on where I was. Hmm? What I was doing. Hmph.

This is true. I dont ever remember being happy where i was.....i was always waiting to be happy....i hated school but I did it because I needed to prepare. Same with college. Now Grad school. I'm sick of preparing.....I want to live. but in all that time, I never really enjoyed life. =/

I mean I had fun. I did enjoy stuff...but I spent my days daydreaming about the future. I spent college just wanting to be done. The thing is, that I do enjoy life more now. . .but I hate restrictions. When I start enjoying life and then get told "no, there is a rule" I just want to move past the rules. Days off were good not because I could do something, but because I didn't have to do something I didn't want to do.

There were things I enjoyed. SWCCG. I loved spending time with my cousins and brother. I loved the 4th and Christmas. But the more I enjoyed them, the more I disliked everything else. I just wanted to do those things again. Then it was WoW. I enjoyed WoW for a while.

Now I'm in love. Its more than playing cards or video games. I'm tired of looking forward all the time. I love spending time with Kaylynn. We have fun. We enjoy each other's company. I don't feel I need to move on from the moment, until its over, and I think that if we were not "here" it wouldn't have to be over. I feel like I live in "highs" and "lows" and am not steady. I don't remember thinking my parents were like this. It just seemed that they were used to life. . .is that what happens? You just get used to life? I don't want to get used to dealing with all this. I don't want to deal with it. I look at "adults" and I see things I don't want. And I wonder why they would want it, then I think that of course they don't, and I wonder how they can be happy. Then b/c I can't figure that out I assume they aren't. And then I tell myself I don't want to end up like that. Maybe they are happy though?

Some people have jobs they love. They wouldn't be doing anything else. Then there are other people; they can't stand their jobs. Then you hear messages: "If you are doing what you should you will be happy." Well, of course you will be happy. . .but does that mean that you are going to have to take a job you hate? I know lots and lots of people who have had jobs they hated doing. I don't want to dread going to work. It scares me that I'm going to for the rest of my life. I know that's worry too. . . . . . . . .I'm trying, but its hard.

Joseph was in prison. Did he like it, or was he just content? Jesus was scorned and mocked. Did he like it, or was he content? So, apparently you don't have to like it....but if you are content then I would guess you can't "hate" it. right? I really don't know about the evangelists who happen to be uber rich who get up and preach that God won't make you do something you don't want to do. Where in Scripture do you find that?

I'm in Jeremiah and Ezekiel. Jeremiah did not WANT to do what he was told to do. In fact he says this upwards of 8 different times in the book. He had a very hard job and he did not enjoy it.

Now I think to myself: Dave, you decided you weren't going to settle. You knew what you wanted in a wife and you prayed and God gave you the perfect girl. So, just believe that God want you to be happy and cares for you and pray for what you want. Have faith.

So, at what point can I pray that God will give me the job I ask for, and actually believe I'm going to get it? I did, and I got Kaylynn. But what clicked with me this last year is all the people I see settling for a mate, and I realized I didn't have to do that -- that God would provide.

My gf tells me that I'm too depressing sometimes. I felt like Toby Ziegler. = / The thing is, I see that I can be. I am cynical.

Back on topic. For me to come to the same realization about a job would mean I must conclude that the people I have known throughout my life that have had jobs they didn't like, lacked the faith to get the job they really wanted. But from Jeremiah we just concluded that God doesn't always give people what they want.

Are we now talking will/plan? If I hadn't prayed about it as fervently and supposing the plan was different could I have ended up with someone else because I lacked the faith to get the perfect person? Would I still have been happy? As happy?

So, now I'm saying Jeremiah lacked the faith. But he wasn't really even in a similar situation. He was called and said he couldn't, God said he could, and so he did. Then he would complain about it throughout the years.

Btw, if you have answers, call me or e-mail me. Or post snide remarks.

I miss my gf. Maybe she'll call soon.

I'm meeting with a pastor Saturday monring. We are hoping Kaylynn can get out of the house so she can be there too. . .but we aren't sure she'll be able to get out. Then we are planning on talking to her parents Sunday afternoon. Pray for us, please.

I'm pretty much assuming now that I'm supposed to go to Covance. I wasn't sure for a while, but the more I think about it the more I think I'm supposed to go. So, I'm going to try to get a little bit ahead on some stuff so I don't have to worry too much while I'm gone. I'm going to miss 5 days of Greek. Everything else I can pretty much handle without a problem. Pray that I get in please.

gtg, bye. 9:10