me again

So, I met with Mr. O this morning over breakfast. It was interesting. I will try to be as kind and honest as I can.

First question resulted in me saying we were planning on getting married this summer. This was the biggest thing we didn't think they were aware of. It didn't appear to surprise him too much. (oh yeah, I thought I was meeting both of them, but only Mr. O showed up.)

His two biggest concerns were: my debt, and her schooling. Both of which I completely (as completely as I can) understand.

Note: He said whatever you decide "we will support you." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .I messed up. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even want to blog anymore. . .I'm just mad at myself. Anyway. . .

We talked for about 2 hours, and he wants the four of us to meet with pastor and wants us to pray about waiting an extra year. Well. . .he just wants us to wait an extra year, and I said that we would honestly pray about it and if we felt we were supposed to we would, and if not we would let them know that too.

As such, he wanted to wait before he officially gave his blessing until we had prayed about it. Praying about it is good. . .waiting is hard. But, as a dad is giving away his daughter. Spending a week in prayer should be something I should be willing to give. . .shouldn't I? He didn't really ask for it. It is kinda just what I said he could have.

Now, as for her schooling. We are forgetting largely the many many many verses that speak of God being the friend, helper, and husband of the fatherless and widows. I'm not even married and I'm already finding great comfort in these verses. I know my grandma rejoices in them and finds encouragement there. But, if the Lord tarries and blesses such, as a father and husband, what more comforting thought can there be that if God takes me out of the picture, He will also care for those for whom I was responsible? Now, obviously I'm not discounting life insurance, and savings etc etc. But that seems to me a huge blessing that previously I was unable to understand as such.

As to my debt. $5k. Yes. . .that is some debt. How many people do I know with WAAAAAY more than that? Now, I don't like debt. I don't. I plan on paying it off. It is something to work towards. But in the grand scheme, when I owe way more than $5k on a house. . . . . .seriously.

I know people who buy the new cars, boats, etc. I can be confident because I know me. They don't know me, so me trying to assure them of my dislike of debt and yet my comfortableness with getting married with $5k is somewhat difficult.

But, neither of those two reasons are reasons worth postponing. They are something worth seriously considering. And we have, and continue to do so. But that is all.

Now, neither are we in a huge hurry. There are reasons we are in a "hurry." We don't get treated very well, or rather as adults. And some of that may carry on for the rest of our lives, unfortunately. But that is why we would want to move away sooner. If, however Kaylynn DID want to finish school. Our biggest concern I think is being here. We both can't stand it. If they change so much that we can enjoy being here, rather than fear/dread it then I honestly can't see a huge difficulty in waiting. . .if we could do what we want. And that's the key. We won't be able to.

He already told me that the rules will change when we are engaged. He opened them up so that there are very very few. But some things. . .that I woulda wanted changed anyway, aren't changing till she moves. And he made that clear. Like midnight curfew. ahem. Seriously.

Now I talked to someone and they said "Curfews are good." I don't get why. Curfew your teenager because you think they need more sleep then they are getting, fine. Don't curfew an adult. You have a house rule that the house locks at midnight, then really why did you give keys to people? And is it worth telling her she needs to be home by midnight or move out?

I don't understand curfews, IF there is trust. Why have a curfew? Do you trust your daughter? Do you trust your son? So, a group of friends goes out to the college function and then to pizza hut. No, that is wrong!! Isn't the whole point of the curfew to say, "I don't trust you?" There has to be something I'm missing.

Responsibility. It teaches responsibility. Really? Are you sure? Ok, they need to be home. I'm glad that they missed the last 20 minutes of the movie to make it home by the randomly set time in the house. "Start the movie earlier." Yeah yeah yeah. Normally, that's just what happens. They sit around until 10:35 to start the movie that is just a little over an hour and a half. Purposefully too. Or maybe, they know how tired they are, how it affects them, etc etc etc. I'm just saying that once a person is an adult. . .I can't find a good reason for a curfew. I will have them for my kids, but once they get to be an adult. . .I better be able to trust them because a curfew is pointless by that time, and drives a wedge between us.


So, where are we? Well, we talk some more. Next time we talk, whether its tomorrow, or next week or with pastor I state very plainly that I expect an answer today. We do not need to set a wedding date in order to get the blessing. We might need to pray about waiting for a couple weeks, or a month. Idk, but the point is that he said "It isn't a matter of 'if,' but 'when'." And they know we are getting married and that we are right for each other and they are determined to be supportive either way, so that sounds like a blessing, right? without actually having to say yes. So, next time, I will go through everything and then make sure we get a yes.

One of the pastors I talked to said I needed to do that this time. Just make sure I get a solid answer. I had too many paths I was chasing, and I coulda argued the above paragraph today had I considered it, but it didn't cross my mind. Ah well.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, I'm glad I'm not asking her to move out against her parents wishes. Although next semester she may be moving out and that will be against their wishes. . .I think. He was adamant that if there weren't guys that decided they liked his other daughters he expected them to remain at home. . . .indefinitely. . . . . .that won't happen, and its sad. But they are driving them away. (good pronoun use there, huh? ;))

Next time we talk I think I need to remember to bring up some other things too.

Christmas. She is coming home with me for over a week. YAY!! =D =D =D

During that time she will be getting a phone on my plan.

Spring break we plan on spending in MI as well.

Kaylynn had previously said she didn't think they could help with the wedding. He said they would help a little. Don't know how much, but we would appreciate any help and that was nice. (as long as it doesn't have strings attached. I hate to think that way, but . . .)

I don't want to work in the computer field. . .I don't know what I'm supposed to do though.

Of course, everyone wants to know what I plan on doing, and what can you do with your degree. I can do some stuff, but its incredibly difficult.

I was told the other day that a Christian school job is not a very good income. I think I would know that. heh.

One of the pastors I talked to told me that if there was anyone in all of history who fell into the Rev. 22 curse it would be Bruce Metzger. That is without a doubt true. He sat on so many councils "shaping" the Scriptures. It would scare me to give one iota of input, and he sits there hacking away at entire verses/chapters/books. And the funny thing today is that he is viewed as a great scholar in the field of textual studies, and exalted in our fundamental baptist schools. Think about it.

Then try telling a group of students that he is in Hell, when their NTI prof says he was a genius and a great "godly" man. Who determines Godliness these days? I guess I'm out of the loop. Tischendorf supposedly a great godly man. I don't think I heard anyone go that far with W&H, but maybe. . .it would be in my notes.

Kurt Aland would be another. Sitting on the council for the UBS 3 and 4, and the NA 26-27, and even before. I think he goes back to the Nestle 13 or 14. What type of man would dare? One who exalted himself above the Word of God?

Which is partly why we get all these wishy washy messages on who the Rev 22 curse really applies to. I mean, anyone who stands and says something that isn't right. Well, that doesn't really apply here. It isn't good, but you can't condemn someone to Hell forever for that. You can for tampering with the transcendent holy Word of God. Well, not you personally, but the text does.

My argument has changed over time. I have I think, maintained the same points with some adjustments, but my order of presentation has changed often. I started with the character of God, then came the church/Word/Spirit relationship, I recently began with certainty, now, I am where I probably should have started: exegesis. You see, the CT side does not have any exegetical support. Indeed, they claim the Bible doesn't speak to the issue. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sorry, think about it though. Fundamental Bible Believing Baptists who say that the Bible speaks to each and every matter of faith and practice says the Bible doesn't speak as to its own preservation. Again, I say, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

So, if I begin with exegesis, which is not always the first instinct and it should be (for all matters of faith and practice. . .exegesis of Scripture should always be first.) then I have the "I win" button. If the Scripture speaks to these things then the CT side must acknowledge them. And they try to skirmish out of it. This is why its a matter of faith for us. We believe by the testimony of the Word and the inward working of the Holy Spirit that we have in our possession the very Word of God. Amen.

Sometimes its easy to see how Paul could break into doxology in the middle of an epistle and certainly at the end. Reread the statement above. . .yeah, we all know it, but that is truly amazing.

Last night I spent about an hour and a half talking to my roommate about relationships and then prayer and God's goodness. I don't often talk to him, but when we do have a real conversation we talk about serious stuff. It was a good talk. I think I gave some good advice and I went away encouraged and reminded of some things I needed.

But you know, I prayed and prayed. And there were things, even praying for the perfect girl, that I wasn't praying for and that I wouldn't have preferred but I would have put up with. The way God matched me with Kaylynn is bewildering. We are sooo perfect for each other. . .I can't even express it. It was one of those things that is just an encouragement because God knew me better than I knew myself. That can be scary, but what an encouragement.

My dad's grades dropped when he dated my mom. Part of me didn't really get it. I get it now. I'm fighting and it will be a struggle to maintain an A in one of my classes. It isn't that the work is hard. It is just harder to find time. And school isn't a priority. I like getting A's. But I like knowing that I coulda got the A almost as much. So me getting a B on a paper because it was a week late and drops a grade is one of those things that I smirk about and am content with. Anyway, I'm still going for the 3.75 but if it stays at 3.65 I won't complain. I didn't come in here with strict expectations, so meh.

Btw, in under 1 years time I will have my M.A. =D =D =D =D :D =) :) =) :D

A year and a half ago I was single, unemployed, out of school, and living at home. I was a guild master though. heh ;)

Now I almost have a wife and a MA. Good progress in a year and a half imo. Great blessings.

I think I overuse commas. I find that I like to insert them a lot. I was thinking too the other day that I need to brush up on my English rules. I'm learning a lot of Greek syntax and I don't even know a lot of English. I barely remember learning Cases. I remember going over it, but what I learned I don't know. I just know what sounds right and certain things. My English isn't bad, generally. I edit my own papers and thanks to my parents I think I do a pretty good job on it. There are just things I think I should know, and should brush up on. . .Just need to find the right English book. I don't want to read it through just be able to look things up when I forget. I need to stay on top of it. I enjoy English. My parents would be so proud.

I think I could teach high school. I was thinking about it. Be a principal, idk. I'm sure I could, but I would need to talk to my dad about how to do it. But I think I can teach high school math, english, computer apps, bible, phsycis. . .maybe chemistry, and history. Actually, let me re-phrase that: I know enough or can re-learn it and enjoy it enough, but I don't know if I've ever tried teaching much, and I think I could teach kids. But. . .what a big responsibility. Oi Vey. (I think that's what my sister would say there. . .but I don't know what it means so, if its swearing blame her. :P )

hmmmmm, I found something interesting while I was paying bills and such and it could be a pleasant surprise or just another petty annoyance. I'm hoping its the former.

I found my old guilds website. Just thought about it for some reason and stopped by. Recognize some of the main posters but that's about it. meh, Just stopped by to brag to em about me girl.

I'm gonna go. Hopefully my girl will be here soon. peace. 2:14.