recovery

Now it is time to recover. My ankle is still swollen and soar. My knee is bruised, and I'm muscle sore, and fatigued. But we took 3rd place! =D That's right. We won our first 3 and then lost the next two. But our first lost was against the number 2 team, and our second to the number 1 team. Double elimination with 20 teams, we were happy with how we did. There had been talk before and some were shooting for 10th out of 20, and the other guy wanted 4th. I wanted 1st of course, but over all I'm surprised we got as far as we did. I think we had some easier teams to play, but /shrug.

So, I have to finish my other paper today. And then I can stay up all night tomorrow finishing the other one. I don't necessarily hate writing papers. It isn't terrible, but I do hate the research part. I'm supposed to use "scholarly journals." pfft. I couldn't care less what a scholarly journal has to say. I would rather read Calvin/Barnes/Hobbes/Turretin/Dilbert/etc/etc.

So I show up in Greek yesterday, and I had looked at the syllabus before class, and seen we had a quiz scheduled. But normally the prof talks about it and let's us know its coming up and what is on it. We got nothing the day before. So I get there, and others are wondering what's on it too, and the prof shows up and says "yes there is a quiz" Apparently the 1st hour class didn't know a quiz was coming either. Anyway, he quickly says what's on it, and we have 5 minutes opening remarks (while everyone is cramming) and then we take the quiz. . .26/20. =D I surprised myself. The parsing was easy, and the paradigms weren't terrible. I guessed and had to logically change some answers but hey, 26/20 isn't bad. Am I bragging? Probly, but some people say "Greek is hard", but even then I can't compare what I think about Greek, b/c it isn't just work put in. I used to say "It is hard, but doable if you study" This is probably true, but different people need to put different amounts of work in. God blessed me so that I didn't have to spend hours studying for each quiz. Sure, I take advantage of that and am more lazy than I should be, but in the end, its not because I'm so great, or even that I studied harder or more. God gave me the oppotunity and ability, period.

I used to say that at Burger King. I was good. And there was another kid and we were both good and we worked extremely well together, but it would always irk him when I would tell him the only reason we were good was b/c God made us good. He got used to it, and then that became his pride rather than that he was good, but its the truth. What are you good at? Do you realize why?

Which brings me back to my hobbie horse -- the Bible issue. I took last night off at the gym so I could play VB, and my biggest "opponent" in the debate was the guy who worked for me. He spent the 4 hours working on a response. It isn't up yet b/c he wanted to re-read it before posting, but it's coming. And I wonder, "How often do we pray about these things?" I'll admit I don't pray about this as much as I should. Oh, I do, but I have been in debates where I prayed everynight that if I was wrong my eyes would be open and if not, the eyes of the others would be. This isn't just debating for debatings sake. This is the Word of God. I need to pray like that more often. I get so caught up in the "logic" and the "data" that I often forget the Lord opens hearts. My head knows it, but do I act it? Not always.

Oh, how did I get to this issue from God-given skill? Well, knowledge is God-given too. So you know all that stuff you know and understand, thank God for it.

My boss gave me some apples. I haven't had apples in so long. They are definitely my favorite fruit. I love apples. I could eat a whole bushel of em. My roommate has cookies and cream in the freezer and said I could eat it. It is good. . .especially with PB. mmmmmm.

My eyelids are tired. Its only 12:30. Its been a busy couple days. If I eat my apple now. . .then I won't have any more food until at least 6, probably later if I go to the library. /sigh I'm gonna eat it anyway. ah, nvm. I'm not hungry, and I will be later.

Someone told me last night, "you know how if you read a paper a year after you wrote it you can be like 'wow', while its like that even after two weeks." But as I started my exegetical paper I read through the one I wrote last semester b/c I did well so I wanted to figure out what I did. . .I am impressed at how well it is done. It isn't like, "wow, this was poor" its like "wow, I can't believe I wrote this" Having parents who always criticized poor grammar sure was helpful. I can remember passing road signs and hearing how they were misspelled. Haha! Now I do the same thing. . .church bulletin? announcement at work? Too bad I didn't learn all the rules, but rather just what "sounds right." 12:45

A quote of the day on my google page for those of you trying to write,"The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid and stable business."

I can't remember my SI passwd. rats. 1:40.

Thunder just crashed real loud and then the raid came down. And its pouring pretty hard right now. . .at least its not snow, right? We are almost to April. Spring is here. . .wow, what a winter. It went fast for me. 2:20.

Just got off a post on SI about the text issue again. No one expert on their hammering anyone, but meh. Anyway, one guy posted how he thought it was dishonest for colleges to continue to set forth the KJB to pastors and churches while in the class they teach otherwise. I didn't think much about it. I knew MBBC was not KJB when I came. Then someone countered that colleges don't do this. They make it obvious where they stand. Then the light clicked.

My roommate told me about a open forum during our Fundamentalism conference where Pastors asked about the KJB issue. I can almost hear the responses "The only version we use in the classroom and in our chapel services is the KJB." This is true, sure enough.

HAHA, they had Baseball and Softball today. Left-over apples for me. ;)

Back to what I was saying. So they say "The only version we use is the KJB." Now, honestly, that is true (sorta I guess), but any time a prof brings a Greek into the room it is not the TR. Nor do they have any problem standing up on the kickoff of a conference to say the KJB is wrong. Now these Pastors aren't around for all this. Sure, these specific pastors were probably at the kick-off, but most pastors dont hear it all. They hear "MBBC uses the KJV in the classroom." What the first writer was saying is that the colleges are afraid of losing support. So they still claim "KJV" but teach otherwise, so eventually all the next-generation pastors will be happy with no version and then the college can say what they really believe without losing students/money. . .Its all about the cash. 3:54.

I started reading the 20 page thread again. . .It is so captivating. But I don't have the time. 4:05.

So, he posted his opposing view, and he said something I did not think anyone was prepared to admit. He said there can be no certainty on the matter of the Bible. He did say doctrine could be certain, but that we could not have certainty on the Bible. This puzzles me. I asked if he would consider a tangent thread to discuss specifically this topic. So, let me ask you, If you are not certain you have in your hand the Bible, what do you do? What step is there that he sees between "No certainty for the Bible" and "Certainty for the salvation of the soul?" Where else does our certainty come from? I think I can adequately argue (mostly from quotes) that certainty is a necessity. How many great men of God have argued certainty? Even many who won't follow through argue for it. I quoted the axiom "Are certainty, authority, and faith inseperably bound together? yes."

Tell me, if you are not certain, from where do you derive your authority? and from where do you derive your faith? I can't believe someone would say that. . .I'm baffled, but in the end if this is where his basis rests, then Lord-willing, a change in logic here will affect the rest of his stand.

Well, its 5 o'clock here. And I got another apple, but. . .I want. . .hmmm can't decide between pork and beef. I want something. If I had some Milk I could make Mac+cheese tonight. This weekend is gonna be awful. I hate stressfull Sat. I would rather have my papers due Fri, and stay up 36 hours when I knew Sat I could make up for it. On a Monday, I have to start the week feeling crummy. My one paper is a problem, but other than that. . .yeah, one problem is one too many.

We are out of Ketchup. Someone ate it all while I was on spring break. I mean seriously. How am I supposed to eat hotdogs without it? But I did yesterday. Cheese and mustard. Weren't terrible either. I feel like using my McD employee meal and getting something tonight. What should it be? meh, I have ham in the fridge but again, no cheese. I have PB. My Sloppy Joe is frozen still. oh well, what's for dinner?! Idk.

First, I need 3-4 journal articles from the library. I should probably go for more, but eh. Its funny, neither of these papers have a source minimum. Last semester I thought they both did. /shrug, not my problem.

So this girl comes in to play Basketball by herself. No1 has been in the gym all day aside from some teams coming and going. She comes right back to tell me there is a huge puddle on the floor. Of course there is. It rained, and we always have a puddle when it rains. But if she hadn't come in I wouldn't have known to clean it up.

I feel depressed again. All this work in front of me does that. I will be eating all the rest of my candy (don't have too much) and w/e else the next couple days. Sloppy Joe sounds good. I hope it doesnt kill me.(It was in the trunk of my car for my 16+ hour trek after spring break) That would be a waste of a lot of sloppy joe. g'night all. cya next week sometime. Oh yeah, yesterday was my birthday. . .imagine that. I didn't even remember for most the day. It occured to me now and then, but I was pretty much in the mindset I was already 23 so it doesn't matter anyway. ok, bye. 5:38.

/shrug

Well, I couldn't figure out how to edit.

The PC dragged to a halt, due to running out of virtual memory. I still need to figure out what I did to cause that, but a restart fixes it, so its not too big a deal. I did slowly close all programs and then waited like 15 minutes for IE too post my blog so I wouldn't lose it. Aren't you all lucky.

Lots of volleyball tonight. The team that reserved it is encouraging to watch. I think we can beat them. Another team gets it in 30 minutes. I'm looking forward to watching them too.

Got to go yell at the guy in sleeveless in the gym . . .why he would be in there idk. brb

ok, so, now what? I brought the wrong Greek homework tonight, b/c I forgot it was Thursday. Friday homework is always annoying. So much parsing, generally.

Well, I'm done. Not too much more to say. I'm tired, and I want something to eat, but I already finished the jar of PB I brought. I love PB. mmmmmhmmmm.

I posted my page. We shall see what happens. g'night. 8:41

if its free, take it

So, my mom offered my bagels, and doughnut holes, and bread. . .and I had just eaten, and was feeling depressed, and thinking about my diet and I turned it all down. I'm cursing myself for that one. Not like I would be eating doughnut holes right now, but over all it was dumb. Since ticket prices went up, I think I'm done with my diet as long as I don't start gaining again. I'm not going to be eating a lot, or anything, but I don't feel like going back to tuna and beans. Mostly the beans. They were great the first two cans, but now, its not so great.

The study I wanted to get into (26 days, $6k) is only accepting women right now. The other college guys all jumped on it before me I guess. That woulda been a worth while month, and then I woulda come home for the 4th and been done for the summer. But, doesn't look like that is going to happen.

My roommate said his boss is hiring for the summer. Definitely 40 hours a week, possibly more, but he wants to avoid overtime. But its only around 7$ an hour. And that just does not appeal to me. And its cleaning. I hate cleaning. Now, my roommate watches TV, reads the newspaper, etc when he goes, but idc about that stuff, and Cleaning just isn't fun. Besides, if my friend can get me $8 working with him I'd rather do that. But, the cleaning job would set me up for next fall, when he possibly needs workers again. Then rather than 8 hours one night, it would be like 3-4 a couple nights. That is definitely better than McD. Probably more money by then, and better hours.

Our volleyball team is going to get killed. Other teams come in here and practice for hours on end. Last night only 3 of our members showed up.

My ankle still is swollen. It doesn't really hurt, but my one pair of shoes is uncomfortable.

I am getting run through WC by someone who doesnt even know me. She is good friends with someone else who I helped a long time ago, and so She took an hour too help me. . .That is so strange to us. Is it easier to help strangers than people you know? Or is it the attitude that determines it? I ask people I know to run me through; people I don't I feel bad when they spend so much time. Why? Who would I do it for? hmmm.

FF: AC is sweet! I haven't seen it in a while. The music, the fighting. . .its so nice. Unfortunately, my DvD glitched 3/4 through. Not sure if its my PS or if its scratched or something.

I've been thinking about what I do if I get told to be quiet. I don't really think I can handle that. If my internet prof suspends my posting or tells me to stop, I think that could really influence me into dropping out. I have no reason to think he will, but people don't like being disagree'd with, especially profs. In a classroom the prof can just keep talking and talk louder. But here I am in open debate with other members. . .if he stops it I'm going to be mad.

This comes about because I posted another 5-6 pages, and he repsonded with 3 sentences = 2 lines. This next one is going to be a sledgehammer. Forget the filler, and data. I have already provided plenty. Instead its going to be question after question which have yet to be answered. Nothing new, plenty of old stuff still. 6:31

posting before I lose it all. I'll probly come back and edit. 7:42.

back in routine

Yeah, I'm back to my routine. Its kinda nice. Drinking lots of water and eating tuna/beans and being hungry. I could probably do without the latter but it will go away eventually.

It was in the upper 50s today; 70s yesterday. I've been blowing in outside air since yesterday, and my room smells and has the temp of outside. Its nice, but getting chili.

I'm listening to two academy teachers outside my office. . .they are discussing the next year, and complaining. Not that I wouldn't expect it, but some of the simple stuff that you might find working at a secular college happened in a poor way. Why are Christians stupid? /sigh, I suppose it happens at every college which is why I shouldn't be surprised.

I posted another 5-6 pages on my internet course. Responded to my Prof and my other opposition and asked several questions of others. We shall see who eventually responds. 5:21.

I'm somewhat bored. I suppose I could work out now, but meh, I'll wait until I close. Its easier to know I don't have to worry about what's going on in the rest of the gym. 6:26.

So. . .I finished one paper mostly. I will have to read over it again and check for redundancy etc, but its about done. I find I get bored at work. Which is good because it means I should do my homework. And I have been able to get a good amount done tonight. I have a paper I need to work on tomorrow. It is a long one, and I've never liked long papers. Its a compare and contrast. I'm not sure if I should go point by point or do one side and then another. The last paper I read like this did all one side and then all the other. Idk, I will probably figure it out once I get past the intro.

I talked to my old officers. One offered to help in anyway possible: arena chests, run throughs, gold, etc. The other said if I changed my mind I was always welcome back, and that I had a lot of fans in the guild. Its always nice to hear you are missed, no matter what it is, it is nice to hear.

We signed the charter, and pretty much determined a tabard, and standard. I don't have any more to say, really. I'm going to go finish my Greek Homework, and then kick everyone out of here. I get to work my chest tonight. That's always fun. Oh well. I still feel tired from this weekend. Last night I laid in bed a looonnng time before I fell to sleep. Probably because I took a nap. I should sleep fine tonight. g'night. 8:50

im back. . .rats.

Back to the old grind. The mound of depression. The field of weeds and tares. The stress from seeing so much bad mixed in with the good till they are indistinguishable. This is MBBC. (or really most any christian college. Here the bad is in category x, but there it is in y. You can't find the perfect place, and so you put up with what you must. . .but it shouldn't be this way.)

I had one of the best weeks of my life. hmmmm, am I exaggerating? A statement like that is really subjective so who cares? But I had sooo much fun. I didn't want to come back. It was the hardest its been. B-day party, LAN at my cousins, lunch with my friend, poker night at the gym, weekend with my cousins, (where I lost the first poker game, but tied the second -- I did really well over all in my poker playing) Football in the yard (Yes, we won again, 14 to 11 I think it was. . .or 91 to 77. High scoring game. But my team really shouldn't have had a chance of losing)

My week was great, but my trip back to school was almost the same degree of badness. My car died. My dad and I thought it was water in the gas tank, but it would run for about an hour, and die again. And then I would have to let it sit in order to start it again. I spent the night on the outskirts of New Buffalo (don't ever take that exit. . .ever) in the dark, in my car. It wasn't that it was terribly uncomfortable. I've slept in my car before, but the whole experience was tiring. I'm glad it wasn't cold, but the heat did keep me up some. I'm thankful I didn't get pulled over by any cops. I made it to school, and I guess that's what counts, but wow. . .

Due to my night/day I wasn't able to start my diet. So, I'll get back to it tomorrow. Good thing too, b/c when I got to work my one boss had pizza and breadsticks for me. It wasn't the best pizza, but hey, its free, so I don't complain.

I met the guy who wants to marry my cousin. We used to be best friends, now she would rather avoid any discussion. We said hi/bye. . .that's it. /shrug. He seemed fine, but at the same time his stories seemed on the foolish end. . .but who doesn't have stories like that? So idk, b/c we didn't spend much time with him. . .time. I have a cousin who has a friend who's husband left her. She asked the mom of the friend how situations like that could be avoided. Seriously, you don't plan a marriage within a month of knowing the guy. That means you are already hooked and alls it takes is a consistent show. That hard part is catching the fish. . .keeping it on the hook isn't nearly so bad.

We had some good discussion. It was even better though b/c it wasn't all old re-hash. Some of it was, but the discussion was with more than I had had it, and I have stuff to think about since apparently I presented an inconsistent viewpoint. So, I don't practice what I preach, or I'm preaching incorrectly. Just with the two options I would favor the former b/c I tend to "know" more right stuff than "do" it. But I will have to think through my exact words so I don't present an exaggerated form of what I mean.

I benched 250lbs. That is a high that I will milk for all its worth. I had no clue what I could hit. My sets were never very high, and b/c of my new workout I bench even lower than what I could. But its working, and that's the important thing. Results are the most encouraging. Sure, it woulda been nice to hear a few more "You been working out?" before I told them I hit 250, but no1 noticed I lost 15lbs either. But, both are results that I can look to and realize that what I'm doing is working.

I'm back to two monitors, with my old video card. 3.4Ghz, 1G ram, 240GB HD, Memory card. . .mmmmmhmmmmmm. I got some new software from my friend I will have to work with.

There is a test period of 4 stays of 9 days/8 nights for $10k. That's a LONG time, but also a lot of money. However, that one starts while I'm still in school. Or, 1 stay of 27 days for $6k. That one I could do. It starts a week after school gets out. I would go, stay for a month, and then I could go home to MI for the rest of my summer break. I would have most of my bills paid off, and then the summer would be free. Something to think about I think.

The gym feels muggy. My office however is air conditioned. It feels nice.

I have missed water. Its weird, but its something I have become used to having all the time. Cold water in the fridge, or a drinking fountain.

So, my brother told me why my hair frizzes. We will see if this works.

I looked at my schedule, and felt some relief. I should be able to handle it without an enormous amount of stress. The only really hard part is completing all my reading on time. But I will persevere!

Its looking less and less like I am going to FL. We are still hoping, but if my car expenses are too much than there goes my FL money, and tickets have yet to come down.

Its warm here. A balmy 76. I cleaned my fan and got my shorts out (which meant picking them up off a pile at the foot of my bed.) I got cleaned up and DL some music I had wanted and then took a nap. My alarm failed to sound on time, but everything is ok now.

Prices actually appear to have gone up another $200. That's disgusting. Too bad I wasn't rich eh? If I win 2.1 Mill that would be cool, imo.

Why do games of chance entertain us so? Anything with cards or dice involves chance, yet we play them often. UNO? Very little skill. Phase Ten? perhaps a bit more. MTG? more. SWCCG? Much more. Poker, yeah, its somewhere in there. . .but not as much I'm thinking. I think its our facination with "luck". That no matter how awful a person is at everything in life they can still win the lottery. It's the glimmer of hope for people, I guess. . .I wouldn't really know. ;)

I need to read over some of the questions I was asked. I posted a 3 page response to some of them, but have to respond to a couple other people. Its funny the people engaging me. . .my prof and two guys I somewhat know. Its unfortunate about both of them. One I have been an aquaintance of for some time, the other not so long, but still both of them should know better. I hate it when people think they know more than they do. . .I probly bother some people in this way too, but these questions are questions in ignorance. Some times questions in ignorance are asked knowing they are, and the answers are expected to be stated as obvious or even redirected. But when you ask the obvious question thinking it to be deep, it doesn't help your prusuit of the truth any. Remember, the truth is out there. Yes, I also got to watch like 4-5 episodes of the X-files. I miss that show. I'll possibly be back. 7:24.

Well, its time for me to go already. 2 hours working on 4 pages. . .not too bad i guess. Anyway, ttyl.

oh well!!

So, I had another long one coming. But my PC froze about 20 min ago, and I had to restart and lost it all. So apparently you weren't supposed to read any of that, b/c I'm not posting it now.

Brief warning, I am leaving for Spring Break tomorrow, and may not be posting anything for over a week. Sorry, you will just have to call me to figure out what I'm doing with my life. Or, rather, what God is doing in my life. That would be more accurate, would it not? 8:46.

The girls in the play have to wear these UGLY dresses. Yup, I still haven't decided if I'm going or not. My cousin might want me to go see her in it, and so I might go, but I would rather not unless I find someone to go with. So, I doubt I'm going.

Uh, yeah, I'm done writing here. cya sometime.

yeah, so i don't normally post on Wed, but I figured I would today. We practiced Volleyball for an hour tonight after church. It was a blast. The girls aren't that great, they know more than me, but . . .u know. We did get one mroe guy, which is cool, hes taller and is pretty good. We play again tomorrow night. I would play every night and for 90 minutes but they only wanted to play an hour, and only twice a week. That's cool. I'm happy with what I get.

So, in chapel this morning, class today, and then in church tonight the discussion was at least touched on how you might think you are supposed to do something but as long as you are right with God he might change your path and show you you aren't supposed to. I moved about 12 times in the first 13 years of my life. When I tell people they say "oh, was your dad in the military?" Nope, but each time that is where God wanted us. Even though looking back, what did we accomplish? not much really, temporally speaking.

I mention all this because here I am at MBBC. This degree I am getting has basically become a waste of two years almost anywhere I pursue something more. Yet, I am learning and studying and good things are happening, and even though I don't understand why I couldn't go straight to lawschool or Calvin. But the good thing is, I don't need to know. It isn't up to me, and if it were I would probably mess it up. (The Probably is my pride talking. . .of course I would) So, I just wanted to post to say, Praise the Lord I don't need to know anything about my future, I just need to do right in the present.

Oh, and I asked this girl if she would like to get lunch. We generally sit in the same pew every Sunday, and we converse, and she's nice, so I asked myself, why not ask her, and so I did. She was flustered and wasn't sure what to say so I suggested she get back to me in the evening service. She didn't show up for the evening service. Then she ignored my cousin in the hall, and they are friends. . .so, what is that? Seriously, I mean. . .just say "nah, I don't think so." Or something, I coulda cared less. I mean I wanted to get to know her, I wasn't asking for her parent's phone number or anything. pfft. Anyway, so now we are all leaving and I won't see her again for eh, 3 weeks? yeah that's about right.

Anyway, got to finish my greek assignment. Then I am done with this one. 16 days, and a lot of writing. But it will be done in 10 minutes. And then I'm going to bed. So, g'night.