parents

Forget for a moment the parents we are generally familiar with and love. I want to write today about a world that is despicable. A world that is hard to imagine. Stories from this world are more weird than fiction. Rarely do you even see this world through the TV.

This is the world of fundamental baptist right-wing conservative homeschoolers. These parents that go to conferences and think they are "good people." These parents that don't understand how to love but only that their children reflect upon them, and everything revolves around them.

These parents strip any bit of decision making or freedom from their children. They cash their children's checks and take the money for their own. They buy a car to be used by their children and so it can be taken at a moment's notice. They pay for their child's phone so they can cut them off entirely. This does not end at the age of 18. Oh, no! They are in control until they decide to someone else is the one their child should marry.

Recently I was informed of a daughter whose house is worse than the one many of you are more familiar with in these manners. Physical abuse is common, and the house is ruled with an iron fist. If this was a country than people would be getting shot and/or tortured for missing curfew. At the moment this 18 year old girl is only a junior in high school. She has no money of her own (per the above) even though she has a job. And as far as I know she has only one real friend. To top it all off, her phone was taken away because she went to her friend for help. Now she is completely cut off. Completely. And she has already tried to kill herself once. Yeah. See? This isn't just some story that will always have a happy ending. She's considering it again, and she has no one to talk to.

But, and this is the part my wife really hates, she went and spoke to her pastor. She told him something. She explained stuff. Do you understand how hard it is for someone who has lived with this her whole life to not think it is normal? Do you understand the courage it takes to approach anyone, even a pastor?! I do. It took me forever to convince some people. Other people have promised each other they can't tell me what's going on anymore. If you honestly want to help, you will be cut off, because they are sure "It's not that bad."

The pastor told her she needed to submit. She was making a big deal out of this, and she needed to do what she was told. BAH!!! What is with pastors? Do they honestly think that children are out of control with blaming their parents ignorantly? Are pastors so ignorant of the teenagers in their congregation that they honestly think that these teens could bring these slanderous accusations easily? Pastors, take warning. You need to know your teens. It is not for the teen leader to know them. It is your flock.

This is the ehrm, fourth(?), pastor that I know of that has ignored such situations (not all the same). Why?!

Of course, this only places guilt on the pastor. It does not say that the situation would be any better if the pastor had done his job. No, because the parents, as upstanding members of the church and community, would lie to his face, and go home and beat their kids. Then the kids wouldn't speak up again. How dare they the first time. Prevent their dad from being a deacon in a Baptist church. They deserve whatever they get.

Of course, the daughter begins to question God. If her parents are, as everyone says they are, really godly people, then what kind of god is God? Does she want anything to do with Him? If everything in life is horrible and the only worldview that could ever correct that is run portrayed by horrible people, would life be worth living through? It seems that the only thing to prevent suicide is to be a Christian, but even then, many weak Christians might not make it through it either.

And what is it with homeschoolers being held back in these same circles? You don't want to lose control? Yeah, they can't run away with a year of school left. They won't make it anywhere.

My wife wants to rescue them all. She knows what it is like and wants to save them all. Unfortunately, they can't even be found or recognized. How do you find these kids? The preaching against this stuff is Amen'd by the guilty. They supposedly think they are doing right. And then they blow it and admit they have a small temper problem that they are working on, but "Nobody's perfect." "Everyone has skeleton's in their closet." What?! Really?! Is that how you think!? They quote verses for everything they do. They have a verse. They have a verse for that, and against that. AUGH!

I can't have everyone living with me. I can't. I have no room, and can't support them. On the other hand, I do have room, for 4-8 more, and we can live on Ramen and Mac and Cheese if we need to. Tuna is a good protein, and vitamins aren't too expensive considering what we get out of them. And we have water. Of course, I also have to be gone for the day, and don't have a job where I can supervise and be "dad" to all these people. Oh that I had a lot of money and a job where I worked at home. But, the desire to be rich really isn't mine anymore...

Everyone I know older & wiser would advise against it too. It is my wife's first instinct. It is all I have ever seen from my mom. It is often my instinct. Of course, I must care for my family first. But what is the difference between someone starting and living in an orphanage and caring for all those kids, than what I would be doing? God would provide. Ideally, it would only be one or two kids at a time. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

I think I will leave other blog business for a different blog.

Please pray for our friend.