I have been contemplating keeping a journal lately. And you are probably thinking, "Why Dave, you already have a journal in this blog."

Ah yes. But I have been finding that I have been having thoughts I don't particularly care to share, yet feel the need to write, rather than have them tumble through my head.

That thought in particular is somewhat troubling, because for years I have told my life story to a large number of individuals without holding much back. It is not that I have had just a "few" confidants per se, but several people who only had to ask to ascertain the state of my affairs.

(I am sad to say it was not so easy for my parents to find out about me. . .why, I'm not quite sure, but I'm guessing it had to do with being thought foolish, or hearing "parental advice" rather than friendly advice. . .the more I think about it, I was probably fooling myself into thinking everyone else was less judgmental, when in fact my parents were only trying to help me and the others were judgmental behind my back. . . . . .I'm not accusing anyone, nor denying that I have done different. Just thinking back.)

two sec, brb.

So, why is the thought above troubling. . .which thought was it? The one where I had things I did not want known. It is troubling, because I consider myself open to discussion and willing to be proven wrong. . .yeah, yeah, I'm stubborn, but my tenacity (which I prefer you use to describe me) does stem from more than just arrogant pride. Further, my blog has not only been my journal but also a sounding board to those who I truly trust to hear wisdom. I am blessed to be able to pick up the phone and call almost a dozen people who I trust on Theology, Life, and if need be, video games.

Moving on. It is my birthday. ty ty ty.

I became extremely saddened today because I had been extremely anticipatory. brb again.

Anyway, as I was saying, I have been waiting for April 7th (Jenn's Birthday) because The Wise Man's Fear was supposed to come out then. This is the second in a series I started this past year. The first of which I left in MI and am now somewhat regretting because I would read it again I think.

I did get to read some of Rothfuss' writing today when I visited his blog. He is witty.

Back on track, the book has been postponed again. Almost every bookstore and online shop has it listed as April 7th still, but today I saw a little hint that it might not be out, and so I called B&N to see if they were getting it, and they said in the fall, or next spring. . .So, bleah!

Well, my wife made a fantastic meal tonight, and we are going to have cake later. I should get going. Can't wait to see you all in 2 months. Bye!

Verve?

So, I got this email asking about my blog. Apparently, there is this site: http://www.verveearth.com/ where they are linking blogs from around the world. I think the goal is to be able to visualize the similarities, etc. of people in many different cultures. I went for it. I am signed up. So, that's the little link below my other links.

I enjoy blogging. I enjoy writing. I wish I had more productive things to write about sometimes, but meh.

For some reason the DMV site isn't working for me to make an appointment online. Comments online say its horrible if you don't have an appointment....I will keep trying throughout the day to make one....otherwise, I will probably be sitting there for hours tomorrow.

I realized the Verve thing is kinda like a marketing tool too. Do we have this inert desire to be heard? Do we think our thoughts are really that important that others should read them? Why not import to FB if I'm adding it to a world wide blogging scheme? But I think there is some difference. This was marketed to me more like a project to visualize blogging everywhere. I didn't see a problem joining this project. I don't mind being helpful.

For those of you new to the blogs, some of the family has been blogging every now and then for a while. You can generally find links to their blogs from other familys blogs. I however do not have the links to those blogs. Maybe one day I will put them up. Until then, ask around, or do some seraching here. There is enough info on my blog to get to all of them, but that's work too.

We are going to go shopping today. Not for a long time of course, since I don't like shopping, but for a bit. I would really like to get a desk, but that is kinda on the side since we are saving for tickets, and loan payments, and a car, etc.

The car is really going to hurt our savings. The more frustrated we get the more I decide I'm willing to spend. Of course, we still have it...I'm not getting a loan, but we will have less in savings than we were planning on.

We are going to do down stairs now. Not as sunny today, so I'm not sure if we will sit by the pool or not. Still in the 70's though.

back again....im on a roll

So, I decided not to port my blog into FB anymore. It just didnt feel right. So, if you really care about my thoughts and life, you have to come here. hahaahahaha

Anywya, it is spring break. I slept in till 10am. I ate a cookie for breakfast. I soon after had a piece of pie. I spent time looking for cars online, and I played computer games. Now I am sitting by the pool in 80 degree weather with my wife. . .I love vacation.

Yes, I do have things to get done this week. We have been looking for a car since mine died again yesterday. Frustrating state of affairs, but better to have it happen on spring break when I have time to look than not.

It is hard to look, because I can drive out to see a car. I am quite confident I can make it. However, I am NOT at all assured that I will make it home. The car runs in shifts. 45-60 minutes is all I expect out of it. Then I need to let it sit for at least that long again. If I don't, and if I drive and stop, drive and stop (like shopping) I am almost sure it will die after say an hour.

So, I'm searching Craigslist again. There are more than a few that look like good possibilities, but again travel is too far to trust my car. Which leads me to believe God doesn't want me to have one of those. There are a couple that look too good to be true. And a couple that I have sent emails out asking questions. So, we will pray and see what God has for us.

I find I enjoy Bible study immensely. I struggle with deciding a topic/book to research/study. I have always done that. In class, I my hardest task was deciding the passage to exegete, or the topic to pick. Once it was done, the paper came easily, and the process was simple.

This is I think my big draw to debate. The topic is given me. In many cases it is a topic I would have never imagined I would debate. It is not something I would sit down and research because I think it is too obvious. However, if I were to write a systematic, then obviously I would have to think about it since it would require an indepth study of "everything." But with debate I can argue something I have never argued OR I am extremely versed in.

2 lines of thought tug at my brain. I will follow the first. . .I think.

I absolutely hate the idea of being wrong. Not for my pride so much as I am so scared that sometime I will be too arrogant to see the right truth. I have seen people argue (as I stated last time) things that they would never say thinking from their Bible background. But get a new thought in their head, and they veer. I am SO scared of that. This is one of those things I pray and pray and pray about. I remember my first real debate. . .I stayed up nights praying that I would see it if I was wrong. Where am I wrong? How can I be wrong? Am I right? "Open *my* eyes." I tried not to pair my prayer with stubborn ignorance. I researched the other side; I did my legwork. I wasn't going to stand on what I thought just because my pride required me to. The people I was arguing against I had a great deal of respect for. But as they unfolded their arguments for me, I saw less and less Scripture and more and more human reason and justification. Now it sounds like I'm boasting. . .I'm not. I'm writing to explain my fear.

I do seriously fear being so stubborn just because I am. I fear not listening to a valid argument because of who gave it. I think, I have been taught to respect people, and listen to what they have to say and not judge them based on who they are. Now, certainly it is right and logical to understand where a person comes from and what basis they apply to everything before accepting their statements, but even Catholics have said good things. Its just not all good.

I had a SDA come to the door (this is a while back.) He wanted to be my friend. And I asked him how he got to Heaven His reply: "By faith in Jesus Christ."
"Why must you keep the law?"
"Because we are told to."
"What happens if you sin and then are killed instantly?"
"Well, then I would go to Hell."
"So, are you really saved by grace through faith?"
"Yes."
". . ."
See, he had the right words, and wanted to pray with me and all that but c'mon, he didnt really believe what he was saying. Obviously, you need to understand that people need to clarify. Some people however are wrong and say the right thing, and in a large group of people, it is better to grant weight to what they said that was right then to rip apart their other words. Well....my thinking is off-track and I'm beginning to wonder if this last part even made sense, so I should move on.

When arguing against something that "seems" wrong, it is necessary to determine if it really is. *Don't* go with your gut. Instead of thinking, "I was brought up kowing more Bible than this person will probably ever know and therefore my instinct is more correct than his thought process," Confirm the truth. If you are right, praise the Lord. If you are wrong, make sure to be clear headed and humble enough to see it.

That brings up another point. Don't be so dependent on your parents for doctrine that you can't think for yourself or are afraid to go against them. Not only have I seen the arrogant refuse to listen, but I have seen the parent dependent refuse to veer from their parents "beliefs" for some fear that they would be disrespecting them. Parents arent perfect. So, make sure you believe what you do because you belive it. On the slight chance that you can then speak to someone else's parents, and change their mind, often the kids will cling to the first opinion because the second tends to prick them about the fallibility of their parents . Bleah I say. Grow up.

Well, I want to keep typing. But I've been sitting in the shade so I should put some more sunscreen on and go back to the sun.

I hope to hit 210 4x4 this week. We will see if I can get into the gym though with the school being closed.

I'm in a blogging mood, and there is lots more I could say, so I'm sure I'll write again later this week.

Addendum

Addendum after reading Turretin (one of the few books I took with me). Fourth Question, page 596 "Venial and Mortal Sin". Now, the current discussion does not involve venial vs. mortal sin, but it is here that we find Turretin's information on what we are discussing.

Notice: I referenced first at least half a dozen passages in my previous blog, and then lead to someone else to show Tradition/church history also agree. But Bible came first. If you missed it, please check them first.

We find Turretin brilliantly stating that all sin no matter what sin it may be deserves death. He references Rom. 6:23 (1), Ezk. 18:20 (1), James 2:10(3), Gal. 3:10 (2). He further uses logical references and the character and holiness of God and His glory (5).

He then goes on on page 599 to say the following and I quote: "His [Christ's] design is indeed to show that there is an inequality of punishments from the inequality of sins and in particular that homocide does not consist only in the external act." He goes on to speak in terms of "degree"s of sin, "more serious" a sin, "heavier or lighter" sins. This from the words of Christ, and he continues to prove that Paul speaks of heavier sins.

To be clear, Turretin was not arguing our argument. But he assumes the degrees of both sin and punishment, and makes it very clear. One last quote for tonight, speaking of sin Turretin says on page 601 XVIII: "Indeed it is proved that some are heavier or lighter than others (which we do not deny)." Yes, every sin's wage is death. God however is not in anyway inconsistent with His character by punishing sin more or less severely. Neither is He inconsistent with His character by rewarding people differently (which we know he does: 1 Cor. 3:10-23). I reference Turretin because I know I am a "nobody." (Plenty of people seem content to point that out, not realizing I understand it as much as anybody.) I know that my arguing doesn't seem that way, but even in knowing that fact it doesn't stop me from being 100% sure of what the Bible says. We don't need "somebodys" to tell us what God's Word says. That defeats the purpose of me being a Holy-Spirit indwelled Christian. But in the end, if we know what is right and true, then there will be "somebodys" that agree with us, and it isn't wrong for us to bring that up either.

Dum duh dah DAH!

So, I saw a little button to transfer my blogs to Facebook everytime I blog, so in the future this will be occurring in both Facebook and my blog. For those on FB that are new to my blogs, my blogs are my journal. They are not pointed at anyone, or some backhanded way of hammering someone. It is my only type of journal, and it just happens to be online for others to read. Comments are welcome. . .I anticipate if there is debate it will most likely be on Facebook, but I will try to keep up with comments on Blogspot too. Further, I often just write as I think. It can be random or succinct. When I argue it generally is not a solid thesis, although at times it goes that way. Just to prepare those who are new to this. Lastly, even though its my journal, I try not to blatantly pinpoint or demean people. That is never me intention. I have at times had to be more reserved then I wanted. Part of me tells myself that you guys don’t have to read it, and part says people will read this, and so its better to be prudent. All thsa said, here is the blog: http://unintriguing.blogspot.com

I suppose some intro is in order since I haven’t blogged since December. But meh.

I've done some thinking lately. A lot.

Something I've considered before. What do we consider devotions? Reading the Bible and praying. That is good stuff, but how often do we "read" the material and not remember a thing we read? How often do we read only a chapter? Yes, you can do devotions reading only a few verses.

Anyway, all my thinking has lead me to a couple conclusions. We can't stop reading the Bible, but we need to do more than read it. Our churches are ignorant of common "Sunday school" knowledge. We need to read the Bible to learn the stories. We should know who betrayed David, and who went back to counsel Absalom. We should know "common Bible knowledge." This is the stuff on the Bible trivia cards. This is stuff we SHOULD know. This is God's Word. This is reading to gain information. With the Bible the size it is, we want to read enough so that the entire Bible becomes familiar. We want to recognize any passage. We don't want to come across passages and say "I didn't know that was in there." or "I forgot about that story." So we read the Bible for facts. Reading it through twice a year takes about 30 minutes a day (If I recall).

Well, that stuff is not spiritually enlightening. Those are facts. We need those, but we need to have more. We need memorization. We should be memorizing the Bible regularly. We had a speaker in chapel that asked anyone saved for over 4 years to stand up. Then he asked you to stay standing if you could quote a verse for every year you have been saved. Almost the whole place sat down. Now, he was clear that it wasn't a sign of anything except, that those claiming to be Christians don't even know what the Bible says. Memorization should be another part of a Christians daily practice.

Well, honestly, we aren't just talking of memorizing a verse a week, we are talking about being serious with God's Word and memorizing it. When I did quizzing I read the passage 3-4 times a day. I averaged 30 minutes a day on quiz material. It was not for doctrine or for study, I was trying to memorize.

So, we are at an hour in the Bible a day, and we really haven't had a time of study where we are applying ourselves to hear/see what God has for us. Yes, God can speak anytime we open the Word, but there is a difference between applying ourselves to that purpose, and applying ourselves for the purpose of memorization, or learning facts.

Study is the third step. Study study study. Go through a book, and outline it. Prep messages. Go through each verse. Look at the author, and the audience, and figure out the context. STUDY. Maybe study what you are memorizing, or memorize what you are studying. I'm sure there is a way to combine these. However, an hour and a half is not really that long to spend in the Word. The study is vital though. It keeps us from droning through the passages we are reading as *I* (to my shame) often do.

There is some of what has been on my mind.

This next part stemmed from some talks, that flat out left me discouraged. I talked with someone here at school. I heard a message. I talked with a couple cousins. My phone died or I would have called you too Joe. Anyway, it was somewhat discouraging.

I understand that we are (as a majority) unlearned. I understand that we stand on the shoulders of great men, and that we cannot claim truth just because they have come to those conclusions. It is our job, to analyze Scripture too. We are to pray for the eyes of our understanding to be opened so that we have an understanding of great truths. We can stand on what these have done, while at the same time holding forth the truth as our own, as long as we actually own it.

What does that mean though? To understand and believe a truth because *I* believe it? I don't think its anywhere as hard as some make it. I don't need a vast system to hold to the truth. I don't. I need the Spirit of God within me. Is there only one truth? Yes. So, what happens when I come across someone who disagrees, then we meekly, and boldly discuss our differences and humbly admit when we are wrong. We then correct our view and go on. So, something that has been undecided through all of church history. . .can someone come to a conclusion on that today? Yes, because the Spirit still is at work, and people are still being taught what is right. None of this negates the virtue of good research and hard work, but Scripture stands without a man-made system or without a tradition behind it.

I am at this moment convinced without a doubt that there are degrees of sin. One of my bigger hesitations for a bit was that degrees of Hell/punishment do not necessitate degrees of sin. I thought it did, but there was some hesitation. However, when I used that to argue for my position the response was not my fear, it was instead that there are not degrees of Hell. I have an extremely hard time when we argue without Scripture. When we argue using our definitions, and when we use our history, and our theologians and our systems and traditions it weighs on my soul. I almost reposted a 3 page paper on our last little discussion, because there was not enough Scripture there. I find that when I quote Scripture and cross reference things, I am looked down on because I have not cited someone, or multiple some ones. I also know, that it is not purposeful. I doubt any of the people I debate would thoughtfully be bothered that I quoted Scripture, but in truth, sometimes people are.

Side note: Now the argument here is that anyone can throw Scripture around. And that Scripture can be used (incorrectly sure, but can still be used) to argue anything. Yes, and no. We should still START with Scripture. Scripture is still the only thing that matters in the end. If you start arguing with tradition/systems, I don't understand that. . .at all. A few times lately, I have seen debates/discussions completely lacking the appropriate amount of Scripture.

Another side note: I have seen a lot of desire for ingenuity. This desire tends to mix with a need to be consistent with tradition. This creates systems that do not fit logically. This ingenuity is forced into a system that cannot hold it. And rather than seeing that the system no longer fits the mold of Scripture, the system is utilized. So that in points and practices we fall outside the mold. I wish I could easily transport graphics into here.

Example: A picture I've used before and I have found useful is to picture a box, kinda like a puzzle. When we have our theology lined up correctly then we are perfectly whole in the box. When we get new ideas or change old ideas they either correct or deform our view. If we were in the box then now we are sticking out somewhere, and lacking in another area. If we were not in sync maybe we are now. When we take a system of ingenuity and run with it because it is grand, we are like the puzzle worker who sees a new piece that fits old one and starts dismantling his current perfect puzzle to fit more pieces onto this new piece. Instead of realizing he is destroying his work, he only sees all the new places he is going. Often times, we don't even see where we have gone.

Side note continued: I have had people redefining the virgin birth, redefining total depravity, redefining redefining redefining. And I sit and am literally speechless. (hard to happen to me. . .but happens more and more.) These are people I love, questioning things I have taken for granted that we hold in common. And at another day and time, they will be in 100% agreement. It is just at this time, they started with a new piece and dismantled everything they ever believed. If I (or anyone) had come home from college with the argument I've heard, we would have mocked the professor and quite possibly called him a heretic. And here it is. . .

Away from my side notes. Here is some Scripture. If you got lost in the notes, read before and then jump down here.

Degree of punishment. Matthew 10:15; 11:22, 24; Mark 6:11; Luke 10:12, 14; Hebrews 10:26

Degrees of sin. John 19:11; Matthew 23:23; Ezekiel 8:5-16 (not the best example)

This is from a Bible concordance/internet search. Much I was trying to recall "just how that verse actually was phrased" so I could look it up. I was planning on Reading Turretin last night, I will at some point. Most my books are in Michigan so forgive my lack of sources. Really, I do know how to use them. There are people who have grown weary with all my sources, but that is neither here nor there.

I'll argue more or not. . .I don't know. I love my family, but sometimes we are too smart, meek, proud, humble, ignorant, ingenious for our own good. Pick one/all.

Note again: Oh yeah, I hear my blogs are like boring books where I just ramble a lot. If you find that is the case there is no need to read the posts. You are welcome, but like I said, its just my personal journal that happens to be online.

Lastly, the title is the noise you hear when you pick up the triforce in Zelda. (at least. . .one version of it.)

Grace and peace to you all.