old stuff

So, since I don't post a lot I can see my posts getting random and long all summer.

I started my job at BK. They love me there. I thought this was a bridge I burned behind me too. The district manager didn't really want me back, but the store manager loves me. She was so giddy the first day I worked with her. She showed me all her record times and started bragging about her store. She has grown up, and I didn't think that was possible. I guess people can change, but I will still act like they can't, b/c over all it is best to respond to situations as the norm, and not the exception. I'm sick of people telling me things are ok, and then quoting the exception. But thats another story.

Anyway, I was asked to help her with the store. I can and can't. Today things were a tad more frustrating since I'm seeing all the little things that are wrong. And I'm also seeing what she needs to do to help herself and the store. So, I have to be careful what and how I say it. But we get along and I have been careful and she is more understanding than before so I think it will be ok, as long as I am patient.

Which leads me to the passing of time. This summer seems like its moving slow. But that is only because of all the things I need/want to do, and for it to work right I need to wait. I'm sick of waiting. I need to talk to the store manager about what she can do better. I need to talk to her about the little things in the store. I need to write another e-mail, but do I write that tonight or tomorrow?

There is no getting around analysis. I get a short/long e-mail I'm going to wonder why. I'm going to wonder why if it was 1 day or 7 days between them. There could be good/bad reasons either way. So really, the reason for waiting or not waiting becomes one of trying to guess what the most common analysis leads to. If I can figure that out then I can project the image of myself that I want projected and not the image, but WAIT. That is playing the game, but seriously don't people do that every day? I mean. . .manipulating people can be easy and profitable. What is the difference between that and say. . .oh, changing the conversation from poker to class when someone walks in the room? You are just projecting what you want to be seen for that individual. I'm convinced we all do this more than we would like to admit.

Back up a bit though. If I am dependent on the common answer, aren't I then assuming that said person in w/e situation this is, is too naive/dumb to take the honest/short answer even if it means the same thing? Wouldn't a smart person be able to handle the straight answer for what its worth rather than attempting to reason into it more than is there? Perhaps smarts is not the right word.....perhaps its a matter of trust? If I trust you, then I don't really need to worry about your motives b/c the reason you give me is the reason I accept.

Trust. How often do we not trust each other? Who do you trust? I am in a position now where one of my friends that I have told everything to for years I have to stop talking to. Mostly because he now has friends involved in my situtations. I can't tell him what I think/feel/want to do, b/c in the end I can't trust what he will or won't say to them. Which leads me back to manipulation. I don't recall anyone at any fast food place I worked that I didn't manipulate them, except this one friend. Now I am in a place where I feel I may. Part of it was that I never needed to, and part of it was that I never trusted anyone else, and part was I stopped myself b/c I didn't want to. But the fact that I haven't in the past is really the only thing stopping me atm. I can't talk to him like I trust him. . .b/c in this situation I don't/can't.

Anyway, that is work/life.

Time goes slowly. My days go fast with work, and its good that I'm busy, but in the end, I spend the day and the night waiting to do something in the future, and never my mind and where I am, what I am doing. Ok, not quite true, b/c I am mindful of what I'm doing and more so than anyone else in my store (maybe). Which is really cool, b/c the store manager reminds me of me now . . . call me arrogant if you must, but she knows her job and is not just a boss.

I waited and waited and waited for the staff for my lock, and then it was up for 150g.......CRAZY. Then the next day there were 3 for sale, and I got one for 40g. HAHAHAHAHAA. So now I'm only missing bracers. I can get the rest of my mats for 200g, and then I would need to run BFD and WC and VC and Stocks. Anyway, the short of it is, I'm almost ready for another twink and I'm only a 31. DOH!!

I can't wait for the weekend. My cousin nailed it on the head. Games games and more games. And FAMILY. Thats what wins. Family getting together and discussing theology cannot be beat....ever. Don't try. Save your liquor, and ur drugs, and your parties. You think you know fun, and we say HA at you.
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So, the question is ever cycling itself. And the inevitable answer is, just do what you would naturally do. Don't hurry yourself, don't wait. Just be yourself, b/c that is honest. So, that is what I try to do. But then I am as aware as anyone I suppose that being yourself is not easy when alls you are trying is to be yourself.

Crew started working with me tonight. It was good. I needed that. It was weird not being involved. But its like some invisible barrier was now removed and they can talk to me. Now if I can just help out.

We swam in the pool some tonight. It was fun. I am scarred though....literally. My sister likes to pretend shes lady deathstrike. My 18 yearold sister, not the 7 yearold. Then she acts like a bulldog and doesn't let go....When my boss asks me tomorrow what happened to my arms and neck I will look at her straight-faced and say "possums."

I need something to drink or slurp. A shake sounds really good, but I doubt I can get one. I will just go mix some icecream and wait for it to melt some or something. brb. 9:15

Ok, I just drank some water and ate some cheese. I'm still kinda dry, but I don't feel like ice cream atm.

Let's see.....what else is there? Idk, maybe that's it. Don't think this one is that long. If I come up with more it will probably have to be another post in a week or two. Alright, I'm out. g'night. 9:32.