today in history

The ring comes to Bilbo.

I think we should all take some time to think of the consequences of this little fact on this day that is often ignored.

back to WI

So I will probably blog some more.

Interesting weekend to say the least. My car died on the way here. Once. Praise the Lord it was only once.

My car was completely dead this morning. No turn-over. Just dead. So I got a ride. Spent the day with my girlfriend and her family after church. Was fun. We went to a nature park and took a trail: her two sisters tagged along, or rather ran in front.

And then we were sitting on the couch looking at pictures. Her dad came in, and decided to tell us I had to go in 20 minutes and that Mrs. Onasch would give me a ride. We were sitting close. Too close. Side by side if you will. I had to go outside and talk to Mr. Onasch b/c if we were sitting that close at the house what do we do when we go for walks? Yeah, good going. It wasn't that either of us really sat close on purpose. Maybe that's a bad sign? We started looking at pictures. . .bleh!

I'm frustrated. I love her. She loves me. She loves her family. I love most her family. I hate rules in general. I hate rules I think are unreasonable. If it was only the unreasonable rules then I might put up with it. But it is a bit more, and it is the fact that I don't see any possible way (aside from a miracle) that her dad gives me permission to marry her any time soon. That's it. When that happens the whole thing goes *BANG* So, in my normal impatient efficient attitude I think that if its going to happen why must we prolong it? Of course the answer is that I may be wrong. If I'm wrong then blowing the boat up would be a dumb idea. Can't self-destruct the ship without being 100% sure that is what needs to be done. Picard had a hard time doing it with the borg in control. . . . . . . . . . ./sigh.

I think I need a release. WoW does not sound like what I need. Idk.

I need someone to tell me that things are fine. . . .no, no, I don't. I can get that if I call someone. I have heard it plenty. What do I need? I was sure I learned the lesson I needed to from my car breaking down yesterday. Wake up this morning, and find my car dead. So, new lesson, or didn't I learn anything? Maybe I just identified it, maybe I didn't apply it.

I don't know. . . . . . . .I think I'm going to try to get some reading done this week....wait, if I get my car fixed. If I still have a girl friend. If I don't have to come back to MI. If the house doesn't catch fire and my books burn. . . . .if the Lord wills, I will get some reading done this week. Maybe write a paper or two......no, definitely not two, but hopefully one.

AUGPHAUHAUGUHAGUHAGUHAGUHAGUHAGUHAGUHAGAGAGUHAGUHAGUHDGUHUDGUDHGUAUOGDAGAGDAUHOUHODAGHOUDAGUHODAGDAGDAGHAG!!!!!

That's what I needed. . . sorta. I can never do that out loud. It just doesn't work that way. I could get on my twink and kill a bunch of noobs and not care about the flag and just kill em over and over.

I could go for a run. I could. . .pray. I could go to bed. I need jumper cables. I'm going to sign out. I'm going to look for jumper cables, and then read a bit. ttyl.

to blog again

My uncle blogged today. It is his brother's birthday. I have always had a hard time dealing with the subject. It was very hard on all the family, and I figured I had no right to say anything or to be too upset when there were others that it effected more than myself. So, I don't talk about it. I never thought it fair to say how much it bothered me. It did. I never cried so hard in all my life. I remember wishing it had been me. I didn't get it.

I don't know if I just wanted there to be a special connection or if there was, but I could always talk to Dan. It was easy. We talked about anything. Things I didn't talk to other people about. Family things would come up and there were times when he made a point to take me with him. We went to the store or the airport. It didn't matter; it meant a lot to me. I trusted him, and even though I was just a kid he acted like we were on the same level. . .both adults.

My brother and I would spend days and days with our uncles. Playing Dinosaurs in the basement. Dan was an ankylosaurus. Playing choppers in our backyard. Playing on the tree swing or the rope ladder. Playing darts in the living room with the wheelbarrow. I remember them getting permission to sit with us in church. I was the oldest, but I had two older brothers. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

It is still hard to think about. I still fight crying. What matters is that God is good. I'll see Dan again. I am bewildered at how the lost can deal with life/death. They can't obviously. It explains the alcohol, drugs, etc etc.

God is good, and His mercy endureth forever. Amen.